As a high school English teacher in both private and public schools, I have written hundreds of college recommendations. I have licked so many envelopes addressed to admissions offices that I should volunteer for a study on the long-term side effects of envelope glue.

Let's say you come to me because you want me to write you a recommendation. My first reaction is, I'm flattered to be asked, immediately followed by, When am I going to find the time to do this? Keep both of these reactions in mind as you pop the question. Let me be flattered. Tell me specifically and honestly why you have asked me — you learned a lot in my class, or you think I know you better than most of your teachers.

In addition, ask me in a way that shows you know writing a recommendation means extra work. Be appreciative without groveling. Writing a student recommendation takes me between an hour and an hour and a half per student, if you include not only the letter itself but also the forms, the copying and the trip to the post office. I have had students who, without ever asking me, merely dropped their forms in my mailbox with a note: "Due Jan. 1. Thanks!" This approach is as rude as it is unwise.

So ask in person and ask early. Some teachers get so swamped with recommendation requests that they have no choice but to turn students away. Most students ask me in September or October. A few juniors even ask me in June, and I appreciate having the summer to do it.

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Unless you are 100% sure of my high opinion of you, it is sensible to ask if I would be able to write you a strong recommendation. This gives me the opportunity to urge you to seek out another teacher if I feel tentative about you or your performance. The honest approach works best with me: "Ms. Burchenal, I know that I goofed off a fair bit last spring, but is there any chance you could get beyond all that and still recommend me to a college?"

Think about your application as a whole and what my testimony will add to it. If you have straight A's and high SAT scores, you hardly need me to say you are a bright and accomplished student. But if I have seen brilliant creative writing or if I witnessed your singlehanded resuscitation of the Astronomy Club, then I may be able to help you. Perhaps your record is weak in one area or too concentrated in another. I recently wrote a recommendation for a fine English student who was worried that his record made him look like a one-dimensional science nerd. I've also written for students with mediocre scores or grades when I felt I could testify to strengths that weren't reflected in the final record. It is not unfair of you to ask me what kinds of things I might say in your recommendation before settling on me. Then let me know where your application needs shoring up in case I can help.

I should add here that I write the strongest recommendations for the students I know best, not necessarily the students who do best in my class. It helps enormously to know the student outside the classroom, whether through sports, a club, chatting in the halls or even extra-help sessions. The hardest recommendations I write are for students who hide at the back of the room and say very little.

If after all this you choose me, the next step is to give me the information I need to do the job well. I have a form that I ask students to fill out, including not only questions about extracurriculars and plans for college but also questions like, What, specifically, would you like me to remember about you? Anecdotes are very helpful. I also ask students to attach two samples of work they are proud of from my class. If your teachers have no such forms, you may want to create your own information packet.

Be organized. When you deliver your forms and envelopes to me, try to do it all at once rather than bring me one envelope every week from November through January. Put correct postage on all envelopes, and fill out every application form thoroughly. Each year I have to track down students who have given me incomplete forms or are missing envelopes. I am particularly grateful to students who put all their forms and envelopes in a folder and mark that folder clearly with their name, phone number and all the application deadlines.

I also appreciate students who have the nerve to remind me as the deadline nears. The best approach goes something like, "I want to thank you again for taking the time to write my recommendation, and I just want to remind you that Sunshine University's application deadline is next Monday."

As for thanking me afterward, if you follow this advice, you will have shown your gratitude all along the way. Lately there seems to be some escalation of thank-yous, resulting in gifts I feel awkward accepting. From now on, I am going to tell my recommendees there are two ways to thank me: first, let me know the results of your college search, and second, write me a letter during your freshman year at college. That will mean more to me than a box of chocolates.

Mary Burchenal teaches English at Brookline High School in Massachusetts/I>

Source: TIME/The Princeton Review's The Best College For You 2001