Parenting Books
	A wave of experts offer oceans of advice to a sea of new moms and dads, who these days might well be just moms, just dads, moms and moms, dads and dads or even grandparents. Here's our take on the tomes By Andrea Sachs

Monday, June 23, 2003; 2:31 p.m. EST
His bedside manner was famously reassuring; his advice was good old common sense: "Bringing up your child won't be a complicated job if you take it easy, trust your own instincts, and follow the directions that your doctor gives you."

We're talking about Dr. Benjamin Spock, who offered those soothing words to a nation of anxious parents in 1946. Since then, nearly 50 million copies of Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care have been printed in 42 languages. Spock, whose presence loomed large during the formative years of the baby-boom generation, was 94 when he died in March, leaving the stage just as a new flock of parental advisers was coming on.

And they have come on strong. This year has seen a particularly rich crop of new parenting books—to no one's surprise, at least in the book-publishing business. The result of a "baby boomlet" is an 18-and-under generation that rivals the boomers in number. Their parents, moreover, are not only procreative, they're literate. Says Heather Vogel Frederick of Publishers Weekly: "This is a print-oriented generation of parents, and publishers are really capitalizing on that fact."

The real difference is more than just numbers. Life has changed since Dr. Spock first penned his book, to be sure. Grandma and Grandpa are less likely to live around the corner now. Mom may work. Dad may be the designated diaperer. Mom and Dad may not even be married anymore. Or Mom and Dad may be Mom and Mom, or Dad and Dad. Suddenly there are new dangers lurking, like schoolyard shootings and sex on the Internet. What's a parent to do—or to read?

Fear not: the market has responded, offering a choice of dozens of new books available at a bookstore or library near you. Even Dr. Spock updated his book just before he died, adding advice on such topics as open adoption, computers and divorce.

So many problems and so many answers! The vast array of titles can be confusing. Perhaps it's a good time to take a little of Dr. Spock's advice: Relax; trust your instincts. Many parenting books are meant to be not so much read as referred to when a problem arises. Others are more philosophical than instructive. Thumb through a few to find an author who suits your taste and needs.

With that bit of Spockian advice, here are some helpful books that have been published this year:

BRINGING UP BABY 101: HOW TO GET STARTED

First, the basics. "Parenthood is a very lonely business these days," says Ann Pleshette Murphy, editor in chief of Parents magazine. "There are so many different ways of being a 'good parent.' You can be married; you can have your first baby at 20, or at 40; you can be a single mom; you can be gay; you can be working; you can be at home. There are many options. But many options lead to much anxiety about what's the right way to do it."

Many parents acquire their first books even before the baby is born; What to Expect When You're Expecting (Workman) is a perennial favorite. Luckily, many parenting books are in inexpensive paperback editions; after all, kids rapidly outgrow such books, just as they outgrow clothes.

Murphy's own magazine has published The Parents Answer Book: From Birth Through Age Five (Golden Books). It takes parents from the breast-vs.-bottle-feeding debate to toilet training to sleepovers. The 900-page Parents Answer Book is intended as an encyclopedia of child care, ready to be pulled down from the shelf in a moment of need.

A rival publication, Parenting, has published Parenting Guide to Pregnancy & Childbirth (Ballantine), designed to take you from conception to the early weeks after birth. How should the pregnant mom eat? What about sex? What about exercise? When should you tell the news to your boss? Here are some answers.

In January, Broadway Books will be publishing The Black Parenting Book: Caring for Our Children in the First Five Years by Dr. Anne C. Beal, Linda Villarosa and Allison Abner. Besides offering parents standard child-care advice, the book addresses special concerns in the black community, such as dealing with racism and raising a child with self-esteem, as well as common health problems like lactose intolerance.

MELANCHOLY BABY: IS IT MORE THAN A CRYING JAG?

Just a few decades ago, experts were arguing about whether children were vulnerable to depression. Since then, doctors have found that childhood depression is common, although harder than adult depression to diagnose. With advances in scientific knowledge have come new books about childhood depression. "This has been an under-addressed category," says Elizabeth Rapoport, an executive editor at Times Books. "People didn't appreciate how complex children's inner lives are."

Growing Up Sad: Childhood Depression and Its Treatment by Dr. Leon Cytryn and Dr. Donald McKnew (Norton), sensitively explores childhood depression and helps parents spot problems in the home. "Seldom do we look upon children as small human beings, struggling like the rest of us to make sense of life, to satisfy needs, and to meet challenges as they arise," say the authors. "We tend to assume that children are somehow protected by their innocence."

Each child is the best source of information about the state of his or her own mental health, and the voices of depressed children come through loud and true in this book. The authors, both child psychiatrists, detail the significant advances in treatment and medication over recent decades, offering families new hope. They also present specific strategies for handling depressed children.

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