What I Would Say About Marijuana Use
	With the number of teenagers using marijuana on the rise, we asked some well-known experts and parents to answer the question, "What do you tell children about smoking marijuana?"

Monday, June 23, 2003; 2:31 p.m. EST

DR. JOYCELYN ELDERS Former U.S. Surgeon General
Trust me, nothing jolts a parent's nervous system more than the thought that his or her child may be using illicit drugs. Even when suspicious, parents are often afraid to ask. Will we alienate our children by accusing them falsely? Yet if we don't speak to them, how will they know that we are beside them if they need our help?

Make your first communication with your child about drugs a good one because you may not get another chance. Make an appointment. Let your child talk. Listen for a long time. Then when you do comment, don't be judgmental. If your child indicates that he or she is using drugs or might consider doing so, take several deep breaths.

Remember, your goal is not to change your child's behavior because that is impossible. Your goal is to encourage and guide your child into changing his or her own behavior. If your child is using drugs, you might indicate your concern because of the possible health and legal hazards and then give choices for what can be done. You may say something like, "So I want you to decide whether you would prefer to go to a Narcotics Anonymous meeting or our doctor, who is experienced in drug use, or a psychologist or counselor." If drug use were to be viewed primarily as the medical problem it is, we would have more resources to address for preventing and treating drug addiction instead of spending most of our money criminalizing use, which has had virtually no effect at all.

JOSEPH A. CALIFANO JR. President, The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University
With all three of my children, I made two points. First, each was a creature of God, blessed with brains and talent. With such generous divine gifts goes a moral obligation to develop those talents and use them to help others less fortunate. That's why it is morally wrong to use drugs.

I also told them that alcohol and drugs were the two things that could ruin lives, either by leading to an auto accident or by causing addiction. They pointed out that I smoked cigarettes and drank Scotch. My answer: Had I known at age 14, when I started smoking, what we learned by the 1970s, I hope I would never have lit up.

Today baby-boomer parents who may have smoked pot in college can tell their kids that we know a lot more about marijuana now than we did 25 years ago. We know that it can savage short-term memory and that it adversely affects motor skills and inhibits social and emotional development—just at the time such skills and development are most critical, when kids are in school. We can tell them that smoking pot as a young teen is decidedly more dangerous than beginning at twentysomething. Our research shows that the earlier someone smokes marijuana, the likelier that youngster is to move on to other drugs. Children who smoke pot before age 12 are 42 times likelier to use drugs like cocaine and heroin than those who first smoked after age 16.

STEPHEN DNISTRIAN Senior Vice President, Partnership for a Drug-Free America
What we have seen in our annual national research, which surveys more than 10,000 teens and parents, is that the No. 1 risk kids see in drugs is not dying or going to jail or getting thrown out of school. The No. 1 risk for kids—and this has been consistent for 10 years—is disappointing their mothers and fathers. Parents will find that hard to believe because they think, "It goes in one ear and out the other ear." What I'm saying is not feel-good advice. Kids who report having parents who talk to them frequently have lower experimentation rates with drugs.

FRANKLIN GRAHAM Evangelist and father of three sons and a daughter
I think all of us know drugs are physically harmful, but there is another side to that notion because we are spiritual beings. Drugs are spiritually destructive. People who use drugs are getting a double whammy—they are weakened physically and they are weakened spiritually. It's hard if parents are getting stoned themselves or getting drunk. Kids respond, "If you get high, why can't we?" Parents must set the example. That's what's missing, the will to set an example.

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