'If I'm Having Sex...'

Wednesday, Apr. 3, 2001 Philippine President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo ignited a controversy when she recently banned a film depicting Manila's live sex shows. Arroyo said it was the government's role to act as the morality police and protect Philippine families. The ban prompted Nicanor Tiongson, the country's top censor, to quit in protest. His replacement is 76-year-old Alejandro Roces. A former education secretary who served under Arroyo's father, Croces is best known across the country as a humorist who can never resist telling ribald jokes. He spoke to TIME's Tim McGirk and Nelly Sindayen in Manila. Edited excerpts:

What's the last movie you saw?
I can't really remember. There are very few artistic movies being made right now. They're all forgettable.

And the last movie you liked?
That would be "Gandhi." But the films made before World War II, now those were really good.

You did see the controversial "Live Show," right? That's what led to the forced resignation of your predecessor, Nicanor Tiongson. He defends it as "a powerful expose" that shows how sex performers are "dehumanized by poverty."
It's true, there's some message to "Live Show" but the director uses that message as an excuse to show pornography.

Are you a prude?
Not at all. I was asked what would happen if one of the actresses from the "Live Show" were to come up to a room alone with me... Well, I tell you, if that scene were filmed it would never get past the censor board, that's for sure. (He laughs).

Are you opposed to nudity?
Not if it's in context. But in "Live Show," it's nothing but pornography. That last scene, when one of the actors removes his towel, is nothing but a come-on for the gay crowd. When people see these things in the movie house, they go into the public restrooms and masturbate. This film's that bad, I tell you.

So what would you like to see in Philippine movies?
Laughter. Lots more laughter. It's the opposite of sex. If I'm having sex and something makes me laugh, we have to start all over again. We Filipinos love jokes. What's different about us is that we laugh at ourselves, not others. Did you hear the one about the Pakistani who's walking through Manila with a sign: "Repent, the End of the World is Near!" Well, a Filipino goes up to the Pakistani and tells him: "Relax, everything happens late in the Philippines." I can invent jokes on the spot. Whenever a joke started circulating against ex- ruler Ferdinand Marcos, he'd say, 'Roces is behind this,' even if I wasn't.

But you usually were.
Yes. I've even thought of a few jokes based on "Live Show". But there's a difference between what's public and what's private. I don't interfere with people's private lives. But if we allow these things in public, how can we protect our children?

So how are you going to clean up the local film industry?
Movies here are dying. They're aimed at the sandal crowd, the poor people. I say let's license the movie directors -- like doctors. The license may only cost 10 pesos (20 cents), but it'll say to directors, you can't make pornography.

And if they do, their license will be taken away?
Right. I think I can reach these directors with reason. But if I have to get tough, I will.

You have a reputation as a humorist. So why are you taking this job?
Former President Diosdado Macapagal was my best friend. What would he say up there in heaven if his daughter Gloria was experiencing her first trouble and I was not helping? I couldn't refuse.