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| ILLUSTRATION FOR TIME BY CALEF BROWN |
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It is a Chinese custom to end the most lavish banquets with a simple bowl of rice. The reason? To teach humility. In the same way, we conclude our tour of the Best of Asia with a look at the worst. here's One man's list
By Anthony Spaeth
Posted Monday, November 15, 2004; 21:00 HKT
Summer
Goes on way too long. In Singapore, it seems to never end. (The government has to do something about this.) And if you think it's bad now, wait till global warming really kicks in.
The Air
Is there any thing left that we can fairly describe as "air" anymore? Probably not. According to a U.N. study, an enormous accumulation of carbon particles and other pollutants—the size of the U.S. and two kilometers deep—has settled above Asia. They call it the "Asian brown cloud." Good news for smokers, though: there's no point in giving up now.
Tourists
Not all of them. Just the lardy Caucasians who purchase and wear conical straw peasant hats and aggressively haggle over a few measly pesos, piastres or rupees—before retiring to a $350-per-night hotel room.
Too Much Variety
Ten kinds of electrical plugs. Cars driving on different sides of the road. Not to mention those tasty noodles fried with a dash of curry powder, which are known as Singapore noodles just about everywhere—except in Singapore. If the E.U. were in charge, this would be straightened out by now.
Sanitaryware
We love to read about the high-tech toilets dreamed up in Japan. Why? For the same reason prison inmates enjoy outdoor magazines: to escape from reality. Japan itself has disgraceful facilities, and if you don't believe me, I have two words: Tokyo Station.
Earphones
When we discover an alien intelligence has colonized the subconscious mind of the human race via cell phones and MP3 players, we'll know where it happened first.
Traffic
It's pretty bad. And it certainly won't help us outrun the alien invasion. It might stop them from reaching the center of Bangkok, however.
The Mixed Grill
Wherever it's on a menu, don't order it. If you can't stop yourself, go for the very worst: the microwavable version sold for $2.50 in Hong Kong 7-Elevens.
Corruption
Bad news: this misbehavior thrives in both rich countries and poor, authoritarian regimes and democracies. A famous French author summed up capitalism with Asian characteristics many decades ago: "Behind every great fortune, there is a crime."
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| October 11, 2004 |
July 26 - August 2, 2004 |
April 26, 2004 |
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