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about Asia Buzz
Asia
Buzz: Age of Enlightenment
Fat girls, tight dresses, what's the dotcom world coming to?
By ERIC ELLIS
July
25, 2000
Web posted at 2:00 p.m. Hong Kong time, 2:00 a.m. EDT
"We think there is a more colorful way to illustrate an evergrowing Web phenomenon...sites that...doll themselves up in whatever seems fashionable...and do anything to get someone to visit them. We are speaking, of course, of Whoretals."
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I would like to claim the above line of thought but I'll give credit
where it's due. It goes to Asia's TechBuddha.com. The Singapore-based site is fast developing a profile as one
of Asia's better-followed sources of commentary on the regional Net.
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Right now, it's largely anonymous. Click on "About TechBuddha" when
you reach the site and you are greeted with this simple statement:
"The TechBuddha is a round happy fellow. Round because he eats well.
Happy because he feels no worry. He encourages others to do likewise."
Round and happy he may be, but the good folk at Snap.com
may not be. This is the TechBuddha's take on Snap: "Like a fat woman
trying to fit into a tight dress, this Whoretal actually becomes
almost comic in its attempts to squeeze that last bit of anything
into the site to get your attention."
And the bosses at Pacific
Internet, Asia's first NASDAQ Net stock, might also beg
to differ: "...Pacnet's master plan to replace 80% of its revenue:
a nebulous e-commerce plan that makes Casper look like a pillar
of solidity," is the good Buddha's assessment. It continues: "Their
site reflects this jack-of-all-trades, master-of-none approach...if
I can have a master at another site, why settle for jack?"
TechBuddha has been doling out his wisdom for about six months, and it's become a must-read for analysts and bankers separating the dumb money invested in Asian tech stocks from the smart. But no one quite knows who the TechBuddha is? A visit to its registration site offers up what appears to be a Filipino name based in Denver, Colorado, not exactly the epicenter of the Asian Net.
But in an Asia Buzz exclusive, we can reveal the true identity of the TechBuddha. Or TechBuddhas. Step forward Jeremiah McLanahan and Evan Erlanson, American ex-investment bankers offering "an enlightened view of Asian technology." The two early 30-somethings have each been in Singapore for about 3-4 years and, armed with the sensibilities of investment bankers and investors schooled in the U.S. technology hothouse, they have watched the Asian Internet take off. Sort of.
Jer (that's how he likes to be called, O.K.) thinks Asia has precious little readable content and precious little independent analysis of Asian tech companies. That means a lot of punters will get bored and burned, like those who sent Li Ka-shing's Tom.com flying to a multibillion dollar valuation before it even had an actual website, only to follow it down to a still outrageous value, albeit one-third of what it was.
Jer and Evan have dreamed up the "Whoretal" concept in the great
tradition of Netizens coming up with new buzz terms to describe
their companies and justify their valuations. There's "portals"
like Yahoo, there's "vortals"
like Ivillage.com
and there are "viewsers" whom Richard Li wants to draw to his Network
of the World. "So why not Whoretals?," asks Jer.
The TechBuddha explains his theory behind the Whoretal: "Girls go to the city for a reason, to follow their dreams. That generally lasts for about a year or so until 'gulp, we promised our VC 1 mil/mth in hits this year, and, er...' The dream dies. Out of money and needing hits, they turn to mankind's oldest profession all doled up for the Internet."
Jer reckons that Tom.com is the King of Whoretals. "With the exception of punters gloating over ill-gotten gains on the first week of trading, reception by the general public has been little more than a one-night stand," he says.
The Techbuddha even lets you spot your own Whoretal, offering a
helpful list of bells and whistles that portals include on their
sites to keep them sticky. Each category, like stock quotes and
free e-mail, are accorded points -- the highest points are for any
mention of Harry Potter -- and if the points tally 100, then it's
"welcome to the red-light area baby!"
Eric Ellis is the Southeast Asia and Technology Editor of the
regional finance portal AsiaWise.com
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