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Letter from Japan: Who's Laughing Now?
The joke's on Knock Yokoyama
By PETER McKILLOP
December 24, 1999
Web posted at 7 a.m. Hong Kong time, 6 p.m. EDT
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Knock.
Knock who?
You know, Knock Yokoyama, the former jokester and Osaka governor who admitted to sharing a blanket with a 21-year-old coed in the back seat of a car but defended it as "nothing but natural."
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Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Madame.
Madame who?
Madame hands were not gropin' her.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
It's me.
It's me who?
It's me, Knock, the girl you groped, and I'm now going to sue you.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The Osaka City Press Club.
Oh hi guys, thanks for not printing that silly little girl's outrageous fantasies. Yeah, I also can't understand why everyone is making such a big deal of this. Let's go have a drink.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The judge.
The judge who?
The judge who's just fined you $107,000 for touching the girl under the blanket.
Whaddya mean you're going to fine me? Every man does that in Japan.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
The press.
Hey, wait a minute guys, I thought we were friends. Say what? Your bosses think it's weird that I paid the fine and called the plaintiff a liar? Let's just forget about the whole thing.
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Boo hoo hoo. It's Knock Yokoyama and nobody believes me. I'm broke. Can I have a job?
Knock-knock.
Who's there?
Taeko.
Taeko who?
Taeko hike Knock. In the new Japan, gropers are "chikan" (perverts) not public servants.
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