JOHN STANMEYER/VII FOR TIME

Remembered: A shrine to the victims of the Bali bombing

One Year Later
	The Bali bombings were perpetrated by extremist outsiders. Yet they have led many Balinese to wonder if they brought this evil upon themselves—and what they must do to set things right
	By Jamie James

Posted Monday, October 6, 2003; 21:00 HKT
Agus Suardana's wife, Komang, told him about the bombs. The telephone had rung in the predawn darkness, as it did in many homes in Bali the morning after Oct. 12, 2002. "Komang answered it," Agus, a slight, sunny-faced hotel executive, recalled. "She woke me up and said there had been a bomb in Kuta. I told her it can't be, it can't happen to us. In Bali we have thousands of gods to protect us."

For one terror-filled night, the gods deserted Bali, and, a year on, many islanders like Agus are still agonizing over why. "In the beginning I was simply shocked," said Agus. "I asked God, why did you do this to our beautiful island?" But, gradually, the Bali bombings compelled Agus to undertake a spiritual self-examination—and to ask more difficult questions. Had the Balinese grown arrogant because of their island's beloved place in the world? Were Balinese going to the temple just to pray for more money? Was the attack heavenly retribution for the sins of Kuta, where drugs and prostitution were allowed to flourish? "Maybe," Agus concluded, "we forgot what is really important."

	It is the duty of the Balinese to pray for balance in the whole universe.     —AGUS SUARDANA, hotel executive

No tenet of Balinese Hinduism is more important than "suka tanpa wali duka"—no pleasure (suka) comes without pain (duka), no good without some evil, and vice versa. The challenge to humankind is to keep the ledger balanced. After the cataclysmic duka of the bombings, the devout Balinese assumed the heavy responsibility of repairing the grievous damage to the island's karmic reckoning. Agus' personal effort on behalf of Bali is a new commitment to his faith. A year ago, he says, he sometimes neglected to pray at his household shrine or attend the full-moon ceremony at his temple. Now he is scrupulously attentive to the demands of ritual. It's not just a matter of turning up for a quick offering and prayers. Today, Agus spends a third of his waking hours in religious activities, devotions and assisting at the temple. It has essentially become a second job.

The cosmic balance is slowly shifting back toward a state of order. A few months after the bombings, when Bali's economy hit bottom, Agus' wife told him she was pregnant with their second child—a great suka for the family to weigh against the ongoing duka of the island as a whole. For Agus and his fellow Balinese, the task of spiritual recovery has begun. Yet not even the solace of heaven can erase memories of the horror of that October night.

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