Fetish Fashion is a masochist's mecca in central Hong Kong, where businessmen
take a breather from busy schedules to be spanked, kicked, flogged, spat on,
stretched on the rack, locked in cages... And they pay big money for it. The owner
of the store is Decima, a 54-year-old Briton and the central matchmaker in a
burgeoning community of Asian bondage seekers. She spoke to TIME Asia's Brian
Bennett: Edited excerpts:
How has Fetish Fashion changed since you bought the store?
When I bought it I went to great effort to open the area up and build some
dungeons. It was a big step not only from a financial point of view but to be
able to say, 'Yes, this does exist in Hong Kong. This is my business and this is
what I do.' One would hear stories about people doing this here or there, but
there was nothing out in the open. Now, this is where you come if you're
interested in alternative sexuality.
Have you had any legal problems?
The law in Hong Kong is quite gray about this whole area. That's why we engaged
a lawyer who was an ex-policeman, who had been in the vice squad and had
practical knowledge about these things. The difference between domination and
prostitution has never been tested in a court of law. So we err on the side of
caution. There's no cause for anyone to bring any action against us. We're not
breaking the law.
What is the difference between renting out rooms for use, and operating a
brothel?
I don't know the exact legal definitions. But prostitution is legal in Hong
Kong. Living off the earnings of prostitution, however, is not. Running a
brothel, too, is not legal. We don't deal in prostitution. We don't employ any
mistresses here, although we know who to recommend. At first we thought what
happens if people come in here and have sex, does that make us illegal? In fact,
it doesn't anymore than a hotel where prostitutes may be being paid to have sex
there. We don't know what happens in our rooms. I know what the dominatrices we
recommend will and won't do -- and sex is not part of it. When I say sex I mean
intercourse.
Has there been a marked difference in the past 2-3 years with the community in
Hong Kong?
Yes. Now, not a day goes by without a new person or customer getting in contact
with us.
Is there any interest in BDSM in mainland China?
There must be because we certainly have had Chinese mistresses come here to shop
for equipment. They know what they want, which is interesting, and they have
lots of money to spend, which is even more interesting. One said to me: "Our
customers will expect the best." You only have to do an Internet search for
China to see that BDSM is alive and well there.
Is there anything unique about the BDSM scene in Hong Kong?
In practical terms, people are much more concerned about keeping it secret from
their family. We have people come to buy garments to wear at our parties, but
they want to keep them at the shop because they dare not take them home in case
the family finds out. But I think it's probably not that different; people
everywhere have the same needs and desires.
So what are those needs?
The basis of BDSM is to give up power for a prescribed period to someone that
you trust, or to receive the right to have power over someone. It's like putting
aside your ordinary life and just offering yourself to someone. It sounds really
sacrificial but within that sacrifice -- and you do make the choice -- there is
a sense, especially if you are with the right person, of huge freedom. Isn't
that strange? It's ironic that you have to be bound to be free. I don't mean
bound by chains or rope, but bound by the prescription of the relationship
you're having. Within that comes an enormous peace, a feeling of not having any
responsibility. It's also a huge responsibility for the dominant person: they
must steer their submissive partner along a road that will enable them to fly.
It sounds strange, I know.
Is that possible to achieve with someone you've hired?
Yes, especially if the dominatrix is skilled. And if she spends enough time
speaking to the person first, finding out where they are, and what path they
might want to take. It will be less emotional then, but I'm sure that release
can come. That feeling of giving up, being taken care of. There's no reason this
person can't do that for you, but it may lack what happens between a pair of
lovers. The dominatrix also must love what she's doing -- and she must love men.
Unless you see the other person as a human being, and respect men as the
wonderful creatures they are, I don't see how you could do your job.
