"To describe Lord Archer's acting as wooden would be to insult even the humblest piece of furniture."
NICHOLAS DE JONGH,
British theater critic, on the West End debut of the novelist's play The Accused
"Peter was an exceptional priest, and Carol will be too."
GRETA DAVIES,
parishioner at St. Philip's Church in Swindon, England, on the return of her vicar who had a sex-change operation
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"The Queen's Speech is 1,000 words, but it can be summed up in one sentence: all spin and no delivery."
WILLIAM HAGUE,
British Conservative leader, mocking the government's legislative program ahead of general elections in May
"There are some beautiful, beautiful young people here tonight. I think I should have worn tighter pants."
RANDY NEWMAN,
American singer/songwriter, at the Billboard Music Awards in Las Vegas
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