Your Business Card Is CRAP!

You know what's funnier than someone calling themself an "infotainer?" An infotainer ranting about pop-up business cards. Enter Joel Bauer, creator and star of the YouTube clip, "Your Business Card is CRAP!"

"Looks like crap, it is crap," Bauer explains while holding up your average business card, one that creases, tears, and does all sorts of dreadful things that paper is wont to do. "And it's the same size as every other business card you guys just gave me!" (What guys, Bauer never says, and we won't ask, because that hair is scary). As he leans in for the pitch — "I will never make a criticism ... without offering a RE-SO-LU-TION" — things start to get weird(er). While cheesy '80s music plays in the background, Bauer proceeds to hold up what looks like a cardboard CD case. "This is the most impressive business card I've ever seen. It's mine." The card, at 4$ a pop and 25 years in the making, "doesn't fit in a Rolodex because it doesn't belong in a Rolodex."

Are you sold yet? Yeah, neither were we. Incredibly, though, this guy claims that companies from IBM to Walt Disney have paid him to drum up enthusiasm for their products. The Wall Street Journal even ran a piece (in 1998, ahem) about the pitchman's skills at addressing crowds with "just a whiff of cheerful megalomania." Sure, Bauer's probably living in a cardboard box made of $4 business cards (foil-stamped!) right now, but you have to admire the man's spirit. Or maybe just giggle at it. Because life is not about being liked. It's about being effective.

(Read "May I Offer You My Calling Card?")

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