By Askari Mohammad, Editor-in-Chief
The Bear Facts, Alief-Hastings High School, Alief, Texas
For TIME Classroom

Now a college student studying recording engineering at the Conservatory of Recording Arts and Sciences in Tempe, Arizona, Romaine Patterson was once a close friend of Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old gay student whose lynched body was found hanging on a fence in Laramie, Wyoming in Oct 12, 1998. When Shepard's killers were being tried, Patterson and others dressed like angels and surrounded anti-gay protestors to drown out their message.

Since Shepard's death, Patterson has spoken with others about hatred toward gays and lesbians, the changes people can make in their lives, and about the real Matthew Shepard. Whether at memorial services or in schools, Patterson ultimately hopes to get across a message of love.

TIME Classroom: How did you know Matthew Shepard?

Romaine Patterson: Matthew and I were introduced by a college instructor at Casper College in Casper, Wyoming. He was looking for college students his age. I just happened to know a lot of them. He called me and started hanging out with my group of friends. From that moment on he just became a very close friend.

TC: What are some of the things about him you feel were misrepresented or not covered by the media?

RP: There was a strong urge to make Matthew a martyr. A lot of people associated the tying to the fence with the crucifixion of Christ. Because of that, people were really afraid to think of Matthew as a real person. People thought that Matthew was just this perfect young man, when in reality, he was a 22-year-old guy who was still trying to find out what he was going to do with his life.

TC: What was he like as a person?

RP: As a person he was pretty damn great. He was very nice, very open-hearted. He could talk to just about anybody and would talk to just about anybody. He just had a really smart head on his shoulders. At the same time, he struggled with a lot of issues. To be his friend was not an easy task because he was manic-depressive. He had some very big ups and some very big downs.

TC: What are the most important things people should know about Matthew Shepard, the person?

RP: I think people should know what I've learned from everything that has happened and one of the biggest lessons that he's taught me. In one of my last discussions with Matthew we talked about what he wanted to do with his life and what kind of roads he was going to be going down. He was very much convinced and he was trying very hard to convince me at the time that one person can really make a change in the world, as far as making it a better place and helping humanity. I didn't really understand what he meant until after everything had happened and I saw the change that Matthew had made on the world. I realized that he was right: one person really can make a difference. We all have a little role and the ability to make that difference. That was about the greatest lesson to be learned from Matthew.

TC: Was Matthew afraid his lifestyle would endanger him?

RP: Matthew had been through many trials in his life, long before I even knew him. When he was overseas he had gone through some trials because of his size and his stature and the fact that he was gay. In the time that I knew Matthew he was so funny, he just was cocky almost. He just had this feeling that he'd been through the worst in life and nothing could be any worse than some of the challenges he had already overcome. Pretty regularly people harassed him. I remember one of his neighbors put the word "faggot" on his door in shaving cream. I don't think he ever assumed that it would get violent or that he could be hurt any more that he had been. Maybe he was a little naive that way, in thinking that he had been through the worst

TC: Did and do you feel gays and lesbians who live in Laramie have reason to be afraid if they are open about their sexual orientation?

RP: I don't think it's just Laramie, I think it's a nationwide thing still. While gay and lesbian people are becoming much more visible in the country, I think that you will always find people out there looking for an excuse to be violent. I think that, in Laramie particularly, it is a challenge. Having grown up in Wyoming myself I could speak on just how challenging it is to come out into an environment where being gay or lesbian isn't something that's widely accepted or something that is widely seen. However I will say that Laramie, Wyoming has drastically changed since Matthew and in a positive manner. When Matthew died, people couldn't understand it anymore than anyone else. To them it was just brutal and horrible and there was no excuse for it. Even the people that didn't necessarily agree with everything that was going on, I think they understood that no one deserves to be treated like that. I mean it comes down to human respect. I think that was an education for the country, not just Laramie, Wyoming.

TC: What can the nation and society learn from what happened in Laramie?

RP: I think there's a lot to be learned on so many levels. The first thing we need to learn is a little more human respect for another. I think some of the key lessons that I hope are learned are with parents and children. I think parents really need to sit down with their children and talk about the issue of hate. Hate unfortunately runs rampant through our world today. You see it everyday. I think it's really a discussion that needs to happen within the family.

This hatred is like a cancer and it spreads. But we have the ability to stop it with us. It's something that we all can do. I think Matthew Shepard was the first time people in this country ever talked about hate crimes. People were taking the time to really think about what it takes to have that kind of hatred to do these kinds of acts. I saw this transformation in people that was really incredible. I saw straight people talking about gay issued where they never would have talked about them before.

TC: Why did you feel it important to surround the anti-gay protesters dressed as angels?

RP: The group that we surrounded was a group from Topeka, Kansas [led by Rev. Fred Phelps of Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas]. They have a website. It's godhatesfags.com. It's pretty disgusting. Essentially what they do is travel around the country protesting at a lot of the big gay events. At the memorial service they showed up and they were protesting and on a day which was already hard enough. I didn't know what I could do about it really. Fred Phelps had realized the huge media impact that Matthew's case was having and he's a big hound for the press. I was informed that he would be in Laramie, Wyoming to protest outside the courthouse. So at this point in time, I was pretty good and angry. I was also mad that no one was doing anything about it. I got on the phone with a really close friend of mine who lived in Laramie. In that conversation, the idea of the angels was born. The idea was, since there was going to be so much media there, what we wanted to do was use the media to our advantage. We decided we wanted a message of love, respect and compassion to go out. That was the first point of why we did it. The other point was I personally couldn't stand the idea of Judy and Dennis Shepard going into the courthouse and having to walk by them one more time. It made my skin crawl to think that. So the idea of the angels was that we'd make these big wings so that every time Fred and his groups protested, we would surround the little fenced in area that they were in and turn our backs to him and silently stand in protest, and just block him out, kind of trapping all that hatred behind our wings. It was the most peaceful, serene experience. He couldn't say anything because he couldn't see anyone and no one could see him, and they were just stunned. In a weird way, we were using the imagery that he used to spread his hatred to show just the opposite. We're using it to show love. Ever since then, I've been helping other people do the same thing. It's a good, loving response to so much hatred.

TC: Are you still involved in the gay rights movement?

RP: I work with the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) and do a lot with them. I'm always doing work with the media. I just try to keep myself busy doing little things that continue that education. My favorite thing is to go to schools and talk to the kids. I start off with their own attitudes, like what are their attitudes about gay and lesbian people. A lot of young people don't realize the impact that their attitudes have on people. I tell them it starts with little things like words. Those words may be affecting someone right next to them and they don't even know it.

TC: How has knowing Matthew Shepard changed your life?

RP: It's changed just about everything about my life. I was pretty happy and content working at a coffee shop in Denver, Colorado serving Matthew coffee. It taught me more about myself than I ever could have imagined. And more than anything, it taught me about people. My life has been touched by so many people since Matthew. And I'd like to think that I've touched a good number of lives myself. Nothing will ever be the same. I'll always be the friend of Matthew Shepard and for the rest of my life I'll be telling his story because he can't tell it himself. Before I was this young, naive person who thought I could go out and be openly gay and you wouldn't have to worry about it, but then I realized that that's not the reality of the world today. I realized I could make it a reality.

TC: If Matthew could know the chain of events and national media attention that occurred following his murder, what would he think of it?

RP: Well first of all, he'd be like ‘Damn! They needed to show a better picture of me!' That would have been terrific. I think if Matthew could have had the foresight to see what was going to happen, if he would have known that the change he wanted to make in the world was going to happen the way it did, I think he would have changed nothing. I think Matthew has made more of an impact in his death then he ever could have in his life. I think he would be incredibly proud to know that his life helped so many and continues to help so many.

TC: Suppose you're speaking to a group high school students right now. What message would you send to them?

RP: Take care of one another. Treat each other well. That's what this world is about; it's about learning to love each other. With so much hatred in the world, we need to learn to love again.