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 The Real Reagan
Think you know what made him tick? His letters may surprise you |
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E-mail your letter to the editor
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| BETTMANN/CORBIS |
| Michael Reagan, son of Ronald Reagan, with his first wife Pamm Putnam in 1971 |
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| On How To Stay Happily Married |
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Reagan wrote to his son Michael, then 26, just before Michael's
wedding on June 13, 1971. The marriage lasted a year and then
dissolved. Michael married again in 1975. |
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Dear Mike:
. . . You've heard all the jokes that have been rousted around by all
the "unhappy marrieds" and cynics. Now, in case no one has suggested
it, there is another viewpoint. You have entered into the most
meaningful relationship there is in all human life. It can be
whatever you decide to make it.
Some men feel their masculinity can only be proven if they play out
in their own life all the locker-room stories, smugly confident that
what a wife doesn't know won't hurt her. The truth is, somehow, way
down inside, without her ever finding lipstick on the collar or
catching a man in the flimsy excuse of where he was till three a.m.,
a wife does know, and with that knowing, some of the magic of this
relationship disappears. There are more men griping about marriage
who kicked the whole thing away themselves than there can ever be
wives deserving of blame. There is an old law of physics that you can
only get out of a thing as much as you put in it . . . Let me tell you
how really great is the challenge of proving your masculinity and
charm with one woman for the rest of your life . . . It does take quite
a man to remain attractive and to be loved by a woman who has heard
him snore, seen him unshaven, tended him while he was sick and washed
his dirty underwear. Do that and keep her still feeling a warm glow
and you will know some very beautiful music. If you truly love a
girl, you shouldn't ever want her to feel, when she sees you greet a
secretary or a girl you both know, that humiliation of wondering if
she was someone who caused you to be late coming home . . .
Mike, you know better than many what an unhappy home is and what it
can do to others. Now you have a chance to make it come out the way
it should. There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a
door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that
door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.
Love,
Dad
P.S. You'll never get in trouble if you say "I love you" at least
once a day.
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