Where to Go

… to See Those Darn Kats!
There's no doubt that these genetically altered South African meerkats are the smartest lab animals ever created. But who would have thought that KatCam (wµw.meerkats.cØm), a website devoted to these adorable mutant weasels, would become a smash hit on the Web? Ever since they discovered string, the playful meerkats have conquered even the hardest-hearted. Every tube, tunnel and burrow of their capacious underground warren has been lined with webcams and opened up to online viewers, turning their little intrigues, above and below ground, into a global soap opera. Will "Chief Brainy" find a way to impress "Foxy Yarnball" with his collection of colored glass and gravel? Will "Blackfoot" finally gnaw her way through the electric fence? And why are they methodically gathering gopher skulls? Surf over, and see for yourself!

… to Cop a Feel
Just when you thought there was nowhere else those Japanese nanobots could go, along comes TouchMeFeelMe DoCo (touchfeel.doco.cØ.jp). Three hours after you log on and register, a delivery guy will show up at your domicile with a foil pouch of "friendly willies," microscopic robots, which you're supposed to inhale — yes, inhale. Once they've circulated through your body, load your personal "Feelie" page with an outline of yourself. The willies are linked by wireless Web to the TouchMeFeelMe servers in Kyoto, so wherever you click on the outline you'll get a "tickle" in the corresponding body part. A palette of other somatic sensations is available, and customized access controls let your friends around the world get in on the fun. Don't forget to tweak your preferences — you'll want to keep certain zones off limits to casual acquaintances.

… to Find the Future
FutureFeedForward, the international trend-research giant, has redesigned its controversial website (w§w.fff.c¿m). Visitors are now greeted by a virtual Redroe Boudaine — the company's controversial founder, whose death last year while vacationing with his sexual appliances has left the firm's prospects in doubt. The wisecracking Boudaine answers detailed questions about the company's history. Incredibly, at its founding, many analysts thought its business plan was a joke. (Tell that to the U.S. Patent Office, which is still wading through an avalanche of FutureFeedForward's "anticipatory patents.") Elsewhere on the site, visitors receive free custom prognostications through the company's futurist network. Most intriguing (or depressing) is the Net Worth Predictor, which calculates the total assets visitors are likely to amass in their lifetimes.

… to Mod Your Bod
Jargon alert! For most people biotechnology is still something that happens in a lab — preferably one with a big biohazard sticker on the door. But some early adopters are already trying this stuff out at home. If that's your bag, meet your new lab partner, the Body Network Engineering Task Force website (bnetf.@rg), an indispensable guide to the bewildering world of biochemical and pharmaceutical protocols. Want to play with your hormone balances? Want your pancreas to start synthesizing caffeine? The bnetf details the more than 1,300 extant biological protocols. Wherever possible, they've been cross-referenced with the open-source Model Intra-somatic RF Data Protocol. For users suffering from Protocol Incompatibility Syndrome, there's a complete faq on quirky and unfortunate synergies. Hey — we told you there'd be jargon.