THE 25 HOTTEST STOCKS
OF 2025

Get the pretty print version: PDF version
(Adobe Acrobat Reader required)

From eruption to implosion in a nanosecond, from disaster to euphoria in less time than that — there's no adventure like investing! Last year, Americans thrilled to the inscrutable, addictive game of mudtrufflage (see Games). But with markets this frolicsome, it's hard to imagine why anyone needed artificial thrills. "Playing the stocks" is now the favorite recreation among Americans of all demographics, and last year it was easy to see the reason. After less than 14 months in business, the cosmeceuticals industry won enthusiastic endorsements from a rejuvenated President Stafford (see Health) and soared to unprecedented heights. Meanwhile, sewage-reclamation companies — long touted as "safe eco-stocks" — were bogged down in scandal (see Waste Invaders). The surprise of the year was it's ultrahip, ultra-high-tech clothing (see The Digital Dozen).

But as you tally your dividends, remember that the market's not about winning or losing. It's a celebration of our national pastime: the pursuit of wealth.

1 General Electric
The company that introduced the light "bulb" continued to shine with its Port-a-Sun fixtures

High: XXI
Low: V
Morale Indicator: ß
Environment Rating: ¥
Financial Transparency: §

2 Microsoft 2.0
Micro 2 increased loyalty and profits by sharing new technologies with innovative little guys

High: XVI
Low: III
Morale Indicator: €
Environment Rating: Þ
Financial Transparency: ¥

3 China Unicom
East Asia's Buddhist revival fueled the popularity of Unicom's Eightfold Path Gamestation

High: IXX
Low: VII
Morale Indicator: Ü
Environment Rating: ø
Financial Transparency: µ

4 Sexy Diva
The cosmeceuticals giant scored with a cheaper, slightly less painful home makeover kit

High: XVI
Low: III
Morale Indicator: Æ
Environment Rating: µ
Financial Transparency: ¥

5 Corning
Strong sales in everything from old-fashioned "dinner plates" to prosthetic stomach linings

High: XII
Low: VII
Morale Indicator: Ð
Environment Rating: Þ
Financial Transparency: Ç

6 Toppy-Stokk
Latest ergocentric shoes reminiscent of last century's Hush Puppies, but seniors loved 'em

High: XVI
Low: V
Morale Indicator: Ý
Environment Rating: Ø
Financial Transparency: ß

7 Wal-Amazon
Balance sheet is back in the black after last year's disastrous Montgomery-Sears acquisition

High: XI
Low: III
Morale Indicator: µ
Environment Rating: ð
Financial Transparency: ø

8 FordHonda
New GaleForce WindStar three-wheel microvans have sexy lines and decent Environment Ratings

High: VX
Low: X
Morale Indicator: €
Environment Rating: §
Financial Transparency: Œ

9 General Motors
New AstroBlast three-wheel microvans have sexy lines and decent Environment Ratings

High: XV
Low: X
Morale Indicator: ¢
Environment Rating: Æ
Financial Transparency: Ç

10 Mitsubishi Genetech
Demand for injectable bone doubles each month; uncomfortable Unibladder less popular

High: XII
Low: VI
Morale Indicator: Ð
Environment Rating: ß
Financial Transparency: Ð