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World Cup Blog | Bruce Crumley For Fans, Now Comes The Hard Bit subscribe to TIME Printable Version email this story Bruce Crumley: Read all his blog entries

Posted Wednesday, June 28, 2006; 10.41BST
Come in. Have a seat. Make yourself comfortable as possible, because this isn't going to be pleasant.

This entry represents a textual version of the American social institution known as "intervention". For those of you not familiar with the act, "intervention" is a form of collective behavior excess whose function is decrying

Previous Entries July 7, 2006 Assessing The Legacy Of Domenec   July 6, 2006 The Runners-Up Final Is Really No Consolation   June 28, 2006 For Fans, Now Comes The Hard Bit   June 27, 2006 All About The Swiss Misses   June 26, 2006 Reading Between The Lines Of The Freebie Press   June 26, 2006 Little (Irritating) Things That Make The World Cup Go Round   June 25, 2006 The Cup's Rough Edges   June 22, 2006 Chilled Out In Dortmund   June 19, 2006 Living It Up In Leipzig   June 18, 2006 Why No Joie de Vivre?   June 16, 2006 Taking Advantage of Poor Refereeing   June 15, 2006 Feeling Let Down By The Giants Of Football   June 14, 2006 Reasons To Be Cheerful for Germany's Win   June 10, 2006 How To Win The Good Conduct Medal   June 9, 2006 Deutschland 2006 Turns Up The Heat

individual behavior excess. A person finds himself among loving family members, dear friends, and concerned colleagues who force the summoned party to face and correct his self-destructive abandon to abuse or addiction, or run the risk of indefinite disqualification from playing any reindeer games.

Since no readers of this blog would have any of those (ie. intimates who care about them, not the excesses), I've decided stand in as a proxy, one-man quorum who will carp and moan until you to wake up and smell the hard-love coffee (unless one of your addictions happens to be caffeine in which case you'll have to find some other blogging geek to read). For the rest of you, get ready to ache.

You think you feel all right, don't you? Getting along just fine; doing your job, functioning normally, eating lots of fiber and flossing after every meal. Well, you're not fine, and the reality of that is about to hit you harder than a Mark van Bommel face-level tackle. Because today, June 28, is the first day in nearly three weeks that no World Cup matches will be played. Not three, not two, not one.

And there won't be any tomorrow, either. Kickoff time for the next game on the 30th, meanwhile, is 5pm central European time — meaning you've got three full days of soccer-less time to kill before you get your next fix. I can hear your sweat popping and eyes darting from here. Face it: you're a footbaholic.

Oh yeah, sure — you're saying "no, not me. I just watch casually. I don't need Cup matches to feel good". Yet you're already rifling the TV guide in panic at discovering the vintage My Mother The Car reruns where the nightly game usually is. And that's just the start of it. Tonight, unable to find relief from football deprivation in sleep, you'll seeking substitute comfort in midnight sports talk shows hosted by balding guys you hate. By 2am, you'll have stooped to re-broadcasts of 1989 Canadian Curling Championships (Under 18), if it isn't the definitive debauchery of pro wrestling.

At sun-up — shaking all over, your sweat flooding the neighbor's apartment below — you'll experience the horrid shock of catching yourself zapping between home shopping channels, keeping score based on which is flogging the least horrible product. And you'll be really, really into it. Good god, just look at you.

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By Friday, when the Germany v Argentina quarter final rolls around, the back end of this jolt of cold turkey will have you believing you've got your soccer dependency mastered. You'll think, "I can watch just this one game and stop there. I don't need more than that", only to find wind up chug-a-lugging the Italy v Ukraine game later that evening — then bingeing on the other two quarter finals the following day. After that, it's another 72 hour withdrawal hell until the semis, cold comfort three days later with the consolation final (AKA The Epic Clash of Losers), and final splatting on the bottom when the final whistle on July 9 brings the month-long footballing orgy to a resounding end. How will you live?

Don't ask me — I'm in the same boat. We all are. Every four years, the World Cup sucks us in, monopolizes our time, enflames our passions, raises (then atomizes) our hopes, ruins our marriages, infuriates our bosses, provides us some of the best sports moments we'll have for the next four years, and then leaves us weeping and orphaned forever (or at least for the month until our local pro leagues kick off again).

It's thrilling yet ultimately excruciating adventure, yet each time billions of us all willingly relapse all over again, loving each vicarious second of it. Except Americans, of course, who can't figure out why anyone wastes their time, ruin their health, and tarnish their reputations with soccer addiction. The lucky ducks. I wonder what they're intervention-ing about today.

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	From the TIME archive
	Officially Wrong Referee errors have marred an otherwise high-quality series   Sphere Of Influence What part does the new ball have to play?   Korea: Heavy Going The folks at home stay up late to support their team   The U.S. Bows Out With Honor Ghana delivers the knockout blow to Team USA's World Cup hopes   The Truth About Swiss Neutrality [June 14, 2006] The Crimson Tide hits Stuttgart to prove they are les Bleus worst nightmare   Party People [June 26, 2006] Germany stops worrying and lears to love itself   Jumping The Gun [June 16, 2006] No time for Italy to bring in a football amnesty   France: So Far, So Good [June 24, 2006] Are les Bleus united enough to go any further?   Technophobia [June 26, 2006] Why won't FIFA take the automatic route?   Japan's Soccer Samurais Are Left Feeling Blue [June 12, 2006] Asian champions in the doghouse after loss to Aussies   The World Cup Web Can't get to Germany? Experience the tournament online   Off To A Good Start [June 19, 2006] The first few days of the Cup have had it all   Mirror Images [June 19, 2006] Germany's coach and the U.S.'s compared   The Global Game [June 12, 2006] What football's success tells us about the modern world   Fair Play [June 12, 2006] Even Burma's generals realize the simple joy of kicks   New Pitch [June 12, 2006] Germany aims to demonstrate friendliness, creativity — and humor   Iran And Football [June 12, 2006] Football, politics and social change mixed in an uncertain cocktail   The Cup That Cheers [June 12, 2006] Moments that make the World Cup great   Global Game [May 22, 2006] Nike and Adidas are using the planet's grandest gathering to kick sale Search all issues of TIME Magazine Indicates premium content