LEGAL BATTLE:
Savidan, a Parisian dentist, wants to spend more time with his two kids, so he’s fighting for joint custody
Posted Sunday, September 19, 2004; 15.27 BST
The impact of these protests is mixed. "There is wide public sympathy for the plight of fathers who are maliciously denied access to their children," columnist Deborah Orr wrote in Britain's The Independent in May. "But there is also an uncomfortable recognition that if a former couple are so unable to decide between themselves what is best for their children, then the courts have little prospect of doing it for them." But custody statistics suggest that the disgruntled dads have a legitimate gripe. In most European countries, the law is supposed to be gender neutral and custody can be awarded to either parent, depending on the best interests of the children. But in the overwhelming majority of cases, the mother gets custody — and activists claim that discriminates against fathers. Even in Germany, where joint custody is the legal norm, 85% of children of divorced or separated parents live with the mother. In France, the percentage is the same. In Italy, mothers get custody in 90% of cases; in Britain, the figure is 93%. Many divorcing fathers don't seek custody. But activists say the state should not presume that. And if a mother decides to relocate with the children, they say, the father has no recourse.
As a result, thousands of divorced or separated fathers are denied access to their children by the courts or an embittered ex-wife. In Britain, government statistics show, 713 fathers were refused contact with their kids by the courts in 2001, and 518 in 2002. But those extreme cases — many involving fathers who were barred from seeing their children for good reason — aren't the measure of this problem. Divorced dads say custody rules granting them only a handful of visits per month don't let them develop meaningful relationships with their children. And many accuse their ex-wives of flouting visitation agreements — but how many such cases there are is unknowable, not least because the courts tend not to enforce the agreements. "There has been a trend over the past two or three decades in favor of women's rights in relation to their children," says Catherine Hakim, a sociologist who specializes in family and women's issues at the London School of Economics, "so it's actually become necessary to reassert fathers' rights."
Rock musician and social activist Bob Geldof is trying to do so. In the 1990s, Geldof and his ex-wife, Paula Yates, fought a bitter battle over access to their three daughters. The dispute was settled in 1998 when he gained custody; Yates died of a heroin overdose in 2000. In a Father's Day television interview in 2002, Geldof spoke out against laws that favored mothers in custody matters and expressed the agony felt by many fathers. The response was overwhelming: a flood of letters from anguished fathers, more mail than his advocacy on behalf of Africa had ever unleashed. "I just wanted to be with my kids 50% of the time," he told TIME. "If a man and a woman live together and it fails, that's tragic. But if you have children, whole universes close to you" if you're prevented from seeing them.
Geldof, who's making a TV documentary on the issue for Britain's Channel 4, blames the courts. "Our system is adversarial," he says, "designed to spiral into acrimony, rage, bitterness and hatred. The law says it's gender neutral, but 93% of children go to the women — how is that neutral? It amounts to state-sanctioned kidnapping, the willful breakup of families."
"We're in a period of social change and the law has not kept pace," Geldof continues. "This mirrors some of the battles women have had to fight, like when it was said women couldn't make business decisions. Now we value emotional intelligence so highly, and assume men don't have any."
"We Know You Hurt Your Kids" [Sept. 15, 2003]
Parents across the U.K. say that false child-abuse claims have destroyed their lives
Fathers of Contention [April 22, 2002]
German biotech firms are offering cheap and easy DNA paternity tests to suspicious would-be dads
Until Death Do Us Part [Aug. 11, 2003]
The tragedy of Marie Trintignant shows that domestic violence respects no social boundaries.
All in the Family . . . Or Not [Oct. 01, 2001]
Tradition is in retreat across Europe, where new and varied family structures are changing the way we live
Joint Custody Blues [Aug. 30, 2004]
After a bitter divorce, how can couples collaborate as parents?
Mogadishu at 60 Miles an Hour Arms merchants are once again doing brisk business after a rapid change of power in this tough town, but so far the peace has held
The Year of The Nuke A rundown of the world's nuclear powerhouses, and what to expect in the coming months
