TIME EUROPE
July 24, 2000, Vol. 156 No. 4
You Look Marvelous!
subTips for kissing up
By RICHARD STENGEL
Everyone from Plutarch to Mark Twain offers advice on how to flatter successfully — and not get caught. Some rules:
· be specific Forget one-size-fits-all compliments like "You're the best!" You could be flattering anyone. Don't tell Tom Hanks you think he's a great actor. Say, "I loved your opening tracking shot in That Thing You Do!"
· praise the beautiful for their intelligence, and the intelligent for their beauty This was Casanova's credo, and it is the silver bullet of seduction.
· Find something you really do like If you're a bit squeamish about making up things, figure out something you actually do admire and praise it to the skies.
· flatter people behind their back First, you'll never be suspected of being a slimy little weasel. Plus, it's actually more effective. When the flatteree hears you've said she is "brilliant," she will think much more kindly of you.
· Don't be afraid to flatter people WHOM you think already get enough flattery If they get a lot of flattery, they need a lot of flattery. And they can always use more. It's a renewable resource, and, heck, it's free.
· Tell a Secret When we reveal something intimate, we flatter the other person that he or she is worthy of trust. Just don't confess you're a shameless flatterer.
· Never say, "you were so much better than I thought you would be" Don't give a compliment that suggests you held a low opinion of the person before.
· mix a little bitter with the sweet Including a tiny bit of criticism with the praise makes the flattery seem more authentic: "I thought there was one slow movement in the first act, but other than that, it was better than Hamlet."
· know how far to go too far Don't overdo it. If you say, "Your paintings put Rembrandt to shame," the artist may be a tad skeptical.
· comparisons are never odious Just as we envy people who are nearest to us in status, we feel more gratified when we hear we're better looking than our neighbor.
· ask for a small favor As Plutarch first noted, we like people for whom we do favors more than people who do favors for us.
· but never offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time When you charge for praise, you make the receiver wary.
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July 24, 2000
COVER
One Is 100
Famous and beloved for her entire adult life, the Queen Mother notches up a century on August 4 — and the celebrations are already in full swing
EUROPE
Crackdown
Moscow's powerful oligarchs feel the heat as Vladimir Putin's tax police and prosecutors continue to make life uncomfortable for Russia's big business
The Hit List
Russia's ruble rousers
Q & A
Berezovsky speaks
The Tax Break Man
By squeezing through sweeping reforms, Chancellor Gerhard Schröder has stolen a march on his critics
BUSINESS
Third Generation Gap
Lower-than-expected bidding for mobile licenses is bad news for governments but good news for consumers
Names in Waiting
The trial is over — now judgment day looms for Lloyd's and investors
HEALTH
The New Science of Alzheimer's
Racing against time — and one another — researchers close in on the aging brain's most heartbreaking disorder
SOCIETY
The French Disease
In France, a best seller exposes a nationwide problem of emotional abuse in the workplace
THE ARTS
In Praise of Flattery
How the rampant sucking up to the famous has undermined the language of private praise
You Look Marvelous!
Tips for kissing up
Irony Is Dead. Long Live Irony (on the Web)
The snide tradition of disrespecting media and movie stars is thriving on delightfully sardonic sites
DEPARTMENTS
Essay
Olympic Monitor
World Watch
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