THE LATEST CRUISE MISSILE: A $60 MILLION LAWSUIT

Actor TOM CRUISE has made a career of playing hunky ladies' men, but off-screen he has been plagued by gossip questioning his sexuality. Now, it seems, Hollywood's leading man has had enough. Cruise, who usually doesn't respond to the innuendos, has filed a $60 million suit against the German magazine Bunte for quoting him as saying, "I cannot produce children. In medical terms my sperm count is zero." (Cruise and wife NICOLE KIDMAN have two adopted children.) "Not only is it not true, but he didn't say it," says Cruise spokeswoman Pat Kingsley. Bunte representative Philipp Welte explained that the interviewer, deputy editor Gunter Stampf, asked Cruise if he wanted to have kids of his own. Cruise referred to his "well-known situation," which Stampf interpreted as a confirmation of reports of sterility that had appeared in the German media. He then combined Tom's words with a quote from an earlier alleged interview in the rival magazine Bravo. "These [reports] were never denied," Welte argues. The magazine stands by the story, but still asked Stampf to resign. Earlier this year Princess Caroline of Monaco successfully sued the magazine for printing a bogus interview.

PINCHING A PAPARAZZO

Most everybody loves seeing what a paparazzo gets on film--and then they love just as much seeing him get his. Spain's Carlos Hugo Arriazu Sanchez earned his paparazzo's stripes in April 1995 when he snapped CROWN PRINCE FELIPE, 28, frolicking with American GISELLE ("GIGI") HOWARD, 24, in the Caribbean. Two months later, though, Arriazu's spy games got him busted for allegedly trying to tap Howard's Manhattan apartment phone. On trial in New York City, Arriazu now denies the charges, though he originally told police that in Europe such methods were "customary." Just ask Squidgy--er, Princess Diana.

SOME LIKE IT TOO HOT

In a surprisingly tabloidy decision, John F. Kennedy Jr. has put '90s actress DREW BARRYMORE, playing '60s bombshell MARILYN MONROE, on the cover of the September issue of his political magazine George. Monroe, rumored to have been a mistress of John-John's dad, famously serenaded President Kennedy at a 1962 birthday gala. The George cover image and tagline refer to a story inside the magazine addressed to President Bill Clinton, who turns 50 this month. "If I don't find it tasteless," J.F.K. Jr. said, responding to critics, "I don't know why anyone would." Well, what might Jackie have thought?