VERBATIM
"Grandfather was a great optimist. He didn't think these things would happen. They shot him in the back right here in the countryside."
FAHMIR SHEHU, resident of the Kosovo village of Orahovac, on the murder of his 87-year-old grandfather by Serbs
"All humor emanates from New York. All people in New York are funny and get funnier as they get older, and everyone outside New York gets less funny."
JERRY SEINFELD, now a stand-up comic, as he began the 10 performances on Broadway that close his world tour
"America is a strange country. Most pornographic films are made here, and yet you have the President of the United States on trial for having an affair. Incredible!"
CATHERINE DENEUVE, French actress, with a different commentary about the week's events

WINNERS

GEORGE BUSH
Congress votes to name CIA building after former director. But Reagan still has the entire National Airport

GERHARD SCHRODER
German opposition head snags an invite to the White House...as if he'd already toppled Kohl

KING ARTHUR
Stone inscription shows Once and Future King may well have been a ruler in England's past

& LOSERS

CALVIN KLEIN
Wanted a fashion shoot on ruins of Athens. But archaeologists stood their ground and kept cameras away

EUDORA
Flaw found in e-mail software would let hackers send messages that destroy data. An e-Unabomber?

RANDOM HOUSE
Random list. Publisher tinkered with 100 best novels to move titles up and down as it pleased

NUMBERS

300,000: The number of children created worldwide by in vitro fertilization since the first test tube baby, Louise Brown, was born in Britain in 1978.

690: The number of prisoners, per 100,000 of population, in Russia, the highest proportion in the world.

$7 billion: The estimated income organized crime obtains from helping around 6 million people a year to illegally reach foreign countries.

200,000: The number of children around the world who were infected with HIV last year through breast feeding.

185 million: The number of cups of tea consumed every day in the United Kingdom, 87% of which are brewed from tea bags.

30.1%: The percentage of times that the digit 1 will turn up as the first number of any randomly selected sequence of more than four numbers, according to Benford's Law.

20 meters: The depth of water lost from the Dead Sea since the early 1960s. The sea lies 410 m below sea level.

750 billion tons: The estimated weight of a 5.6 km by 19.3 km iceberg that has broken away from Antarctica and is drifting north at 1.5 km/h a day.

$2.99 trillion: The total amount held in savings by Germans.

Sources: Science; U.S. Justice Department; International Confederation of Free Trade Unions; British Medical Journal; The Tea Council; New York Times; New Scientist; National Ice Center