1. Every time Bill Clinton sat down to watch Andre Agassi play tennis at the French Open:
a) Bill Bennett got up b) Gustavo Kuerten yelled, "Stop your incessant chewing, Mr. Jowly!" c) Agassi lost d) the joker next to him said, "Pardonnez-moi!"
2. This man is:
a) the Elton John of Myanmar b) newly crowned King Gyanendra of Nepal c) O.K. on turf, but really a mudder d) a big fan of the phrase "accidents will happen" e) praying that this photo won't get picked up globally
3. The New York Stock Exchange stopped for 1 1/2 hours because of:
a) a lack of interest b) Greenspan's excited declaration that "Oprah's on!" c) tech problems d) Abby Joseph Cohen's surprising call that "Maria Bartiromo's not wearing a bra"
4. Sharon Stone sued the producers of Basic Instinct 2 because:
a) they insisted she keep her legs closed b) they're not making the movie c) they wouldn't sign on for Sliver 2 d) they weren't leering at her enough
5. In Russia, people panicked over false reports of:
a) a vodka shortage b) the return of Yakov Smirnoff c) problems between Jennifer and Brad d) Basic Instinct 2
ANSWERS: 1-c, 2-b, 3-c, 4-b, 5-a