News Quiz Sep. 3, 2001

1. A ransom note for a stolen Marc Chagall painting demanded:

a) $118,000 b) peace in the Middle East c) a face-to-face with Topol d) a date with "total hottie Justin Timberlake"

2. Vladimir Putin is:

a) dead, but he can still make sweet love to Demi Moore b) years behind on his missile-defense shield c) throwing a pot d) making an urn for Yeltsin e) the top Russian at the Artful Potter

3. The FBI discovered fraud in the McDonald's Monopoly game:

a) at the Hamburglar's lair b) in Fair Play, S.C. c) under the thimble--always under the thimble! d) behind its own photocopier

4. A man parachuted onto the Statue of Liberty to protest:

a) land mines b) both statues and liberty c) the cruelty of oxidation d) the proliferation of digital-camera pop-up ads

5. Fred Couples' planned male-only golf course would be called:

a) Big Gay Fred's b) Southern Dunes c) Just Another Golf Course d) Unless They're Naked

ANSWERS: 1-b, 2-c, 3-b, 4-a, 5-b