LONE GUNMAN, TWO BILL GATESES
Being the world's richest man is like being Elvis, in that there are weirdos out there whose profession is to be you. STEVE SIRES, left, a BILL GATES impersonator who lives near Microsoft's headquarters in Redmond, Wash., first attracted the corporation's interest when he attempted to trademark the name "Microsortof." Later his resemblance landed him a role as Gates in one of the company's corporate films. But now Microsoft and he are on the outs again, after his recent turn in Nothing So Strange, an independent mockumentary making its debut this week at the Slamdance Film Festival. Sires, as Gates, gets offed J.F.K.-style by a hidden gunman. "It's very disappointing that a moviemaker would do something like this," said a Microsoft spokesman. Maybe Larry Ellison will produce the sequel.
Motley Crue II?
Nikki Sixx has mellowed out; long live NICK CARTER. The youngest of the Backstreet Boys at 21, Carter was arrested last week at the fittingly named Pop City nightclub in Tampa, Fla. But mothers of impressionable young girls everywhere needn't worry--his behavior was more petulant than felonious. The police were called twice to the club to restore peace after fights broke out. During their second visit, Carter got into an argument with a woman, according to an affidavit. Officers allegedly told him more than 10 times to leave the club and, finally, to depart by the count of three (just like bedtime!). Carter didn't go fast enough and was cuffed. Now he's set to appear in court March 4. As it's his first public dustup, maybe nothing more than a time-out is called for. It's been just six months since Backstreet Boy A.J. McLean, 24, checked into rehab. Who says these guys aren't a real band?
REDEFINING THE STRETCH FABRIC
MADONNA has already shown you don't need even a marginally convincing English accent to snag a British spouse, but it's usually assumed that to get your own tartan requires some pretty deep local roots. The Highlands of Scotland Tourist Board, however, seems to regard a lack of ancestry as a wee piffling obstacle. So grateful was it when Madge married director Guy Ritchie in a Scottish castle last winter that the board, as "a special thank-you," commissioned a new tartan, Romantic Scotland, in honor of the duo. "Madonna is the original Material Girl, so a length of fabric seems doubly appropriate," said the board's marketing head. The color scheme: pearl white, for Like a Virgin; blue, for the early True Blue album; yellow, for the Blond Ambition tour; and purple, for Scottish heather. But what about Ritchie? Oh, yeah: "A three-line overcheck echoes the style of the Ritchie tartan." What, no blood red for his action sequences?
WHAT'S MY MOTIVATION, DADDY?