People: Feb. 4, 2002

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A LONG WAY FROM THE PRODUCERS

Who says charity chatter is boring? In October, journalism professor Anne Nelson was seated next to theater director Jim Simpson at a benefit. Nelson told him of her experience helping a fire captain write eulogies for firemen lost on Sept. 11. Simpson suggested she rework the meeting into a play. The result: The Guys, which Simpson is directing at his downtown theater, the Flea, starring his wife SIGOURNEY WEAVER and BILL MURRAY. The sight of two Hollywood stars sharing a tiny Tribeca stage will undoubtedly draw Manhattan crowds. And when Murray leaves in a few weeks, the play will begin rotating new stars into the roles. Could be a long run.

PORTRAIT OF A LADY

It's a narrative Henry James would have appreciated. A privileged young American woman travels to Europe, where she acquires Old World sophistication and worldly acquaintances. In this case, the young woman is CHELSEA CLINTON, left, who last week hooked up with GWYNETH PALTROW and MADONNA for the Versace fashion show in Paris. Clinton, 21, who is studying in England at Oxford, sat in the front row wearing a Versace pantsuit and pin-straight hair, effectively stealing the spot-light from her companions, from whom she seems to have picked up some primping tips. At a nightclub later, she wore a Versace dress. Though her makeover was widely praised, there are still those who insist on finding fault with the Clintons. On naturallycurly.com a website for women pumped with ringlet pride, Chelsea earned a mention in the Hall of Shame for her "horrifying example of anti-curl bias!"

YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM ANYWHERE

Though many are perplexed by the erratic behavior of MIKE TYSON, the boxer has a clear understanding of who he is and who he is not. "I am not a role model or Mr. Politically Correct," he revealed for those still needing further clarification. The self-analysis was an attempt at explaining the melee he instigated at a press conference to announce his upcoming heavyweight title bout with Lennox Lewis. Because of what Tyson called a "miscommunication," he got in a scuffle with Lewis' bodyguard, sparking the type of free-for-all rarely seen outside the set of the Jerry Springer Show. Tyson, who despite his pugilistic power insists on doing battle with his teeth, reportedly bit Lewis on the leg. Chances are the incident will not go over well with the Nevada State Athletic Commission, which suspended Tyson's license in 1997 after he bit off a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear. The commission is still considering whether or not to reinstate Tyson's license for the Lewis fight, scheduled to take place April 6 in Las Vegas. At stake: $17.5 million per boxer and the heavyweight title. Judges have not decided who won the press conference.

TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN