Letters: May 6, 2002

Making Time for a Baby

"Women should not have to choose between a family and a career. If two people want to raise a family, both must sacrifice equally." SARAH ELIZABETH GLEASON South Portland, Maine

Author Sylvia Ann Hewlett should be hailed as a hero for her enlightening book, Creating a Life: Professional Women and the Quest for Children, but instead she is being criticized as an anti-feminist [SOCIETY, April 15]. Please! Hewlett did not invent female biology; she only reports the facts, saying that at 27 a woman's chances of getting pregnant begin to decline. As a mother who had a child at age 30, I know that parenthood is all about making hard choices. Having a child is a lifestyle choice. If a woman is not willing to adjust her professional schedule to accommodate her biology, then maybe she should examine the reasons behind her motivation to have a child. ELLEN GOODMAN Glen Ridge, N.J.

Reasonable women will gladly sacrifice a rung or two on the ladder of success if having a family is truly a priority. It's really not any more complicated than that. Women have always paid a higher price when it comes to having children, and they always will. NANCY MIXELL Oxford, Ohio

Exactly what is the tragedy when self-centered career women who are over 40 discover that they have "forgotten" to have a baby? Isn't the world overpopulated already? Career choices, like life, are full of consequences, some good, some bad. I hope your article will persuade younger women to accept their choices and their consequences. REBECCA MOCCIARO Los Angeles

If at age 40 I find myself in a doctor's office, crying into a Kleenex, it won't mean I've lost my identity. Although society instructs us otherwise, parenthood or childlessness need not be the keystone of a woman's identity--just as neither is the foundation of a man's. CHRISTINE PELTON HAWKINS St. Louis, Mo.

Why is it that men can do whatever they want in their lives, but women have to second-guess every decision they make concerning their future? AMY BALDWIN Scottsdale, Ariz.

The panic I sometimes feel at my limited procreative shelf life often gives way to anger that I cannot control my ability to bear a child. Some of us are so adept at multitasking, we have come to believe that having children is a biological right. For those women who want children, the failure to have them not only teaches a sobering lesson in the limitations of science, it also provides a discomfiting look at one's own mortality. PAMELA MATHIASEN Los Angeles

If indeed the ticking biological clock for women is a real problem, then all members of society--men and women, the business world and stay-at-home parents--should be involved in discussing how best to balance work and home life. All parents should be supported in their decisions, regardless of gender. It's high time we stopped framing work-and-family discussions as women's issues. LORI EICKMANN Dublin, Calif.

Jaw-Jaw or War-War?

I am amazed at the hypocrisy of the American approach to terrorists [WORLD, April 15]. Would President Bush have negotiated with the enemy for the custody of Osama bin Laden or other al-Qaeda fighters? No. Then why does Bush expect Israel to negotiate with Yasser Arafat? SANDEEP SHOUCHE Westmont, Ill.