Sure Beats Working

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One reason politicians seem so dorky is that other than the filibuster, there aren't any cool parliamentary procedures. But the ultimate move--the one that's making Aaron Sorkin even more upset that he won't be writing The West Wing next season--is to halt a vote by hightailing it out of town and then evading the cops looking to drag you back. It's always a ratings grabber, like when some Republicans in the U.S. Senate locked themselves in their offices to quash a vote on a campaign-finance-reform bill in 1988, causing a sergeant at arms to carry Bob Packwood feetfirst to the Senate floor (after determining that Lowell Weicker was too heavy). The stunt pulled by Democrats in the Texas legislature last week was to avoid a vote on redistricting the state to create more Republican members of Congress.

It started two weeks ago, when House majority whip Tom DeLay came home to Texas to stir up trouble. DeLay saw a chance to boost the Republican majority in Congress by redrawing the congressional districts to give the Texas Republicans a 22-to-10 advantage. The Republicans drew some funny lines, like the ones dividing Austin into four districts, one of them connecting the capital to the border of Mexico 300 miles away. Though redistricting is usually done only after a Census, DeLay had a pretty good rationale for wanting one, since Republi-cans beat the daylights out of the Dems in Texas in the last statehouse elections yet had two fewer U.S. Reps for the state.

Faced with a further erosion of their party's power, 51 of the state's 62 Democratic lawmakers packed their toothbrushes and at least one acoustic guitar last Sunday and ran away. Without a minimum of two-thirds of the 150 legislators in their seats, a vote can't be held, but a house rule allows the speaker to order the arrest of members trying to thwart a quorum and force them back to their seats. So, like Jesse James heading for the Oklahoma hills to evade Texas Rangers, the Dems waited until the cover of night, then met in small groups at an Embassy Suites parking lot in Austin. With secrecy so tight that only the group leaders knew where they were going, the Democrats sneaked off, over the state border to the safety of Ardmore, Okla., 300 miles away. Sure, they could have gone to Mexico, but they wanted to show they were serious. Being in Oklahoma is like self-flagellation for a Texan.

Only one member was nabbed by Johnny Law, outside her house. And several African-American Democrats chose to go to work, in part because the Republican plans would have created more black districts. In the end, 51 rebels checked into a Holiday Inn, where they were booked two to a room. Monday morning they went to the Denny's attached to the hotel to work on strategy while fortifying themselves with Moons over My Hammy (ham, cheese and scrambled-egg sandwiches). At 3 a.m., the Democrats were awakened and brought down to the Holiday Inn basement, where they camped out with the media because of tornado warnings.