What Happened to Matt Maupin?

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Carolyn and Keith have met with Bush four times, all during the President's frequent campaign trips to the crucial electoral state of Ohio last year. The Army casualty-assistance officer assigned to the Maupin family took Keith to the barbershop to trim his long beard--and to Sears to buy a suit--for his first meeting with the Commander in Chief; Keith has vowed not to tame his beard until his son is found. "He really didn't know much either," Keith says of the President. "But he said, 'They're looking for him, they'll get him, and they'll bring him home.'" Bush's concern has impressed the Maupins. "He talks from the heart," Keith says, "and I believe he's got a lot of sincerity and conviction in him." Carolyn says, "He found the time to come out here and talk to us, and that's a great thing for a President to do. He says they're doing all they can, but, of course, to a parent, that's never enough."

Keith chokes up when asked how he copes with the unrelenting state of not knowing. "Until Matt walks off the plane--or they carry him off--we will believe and have faith that Matt is alive," he says. Some days are tougher than others. "I'm almost certain that it's a test from God and that God is not going give you more than you can bear," he says. "But it's getting pretty heavy." He takes solace in the simple things. "Each time when it seems to be getting unbearable, something happens to lift the weight off," he says. "We've had people tell us they've had dreams in which Matt is O.K., and it's weird, but that really helps."

"I pray every day before I leave here," Carolyn says in her living room. "I go to Matt's picture, and I put my hand up to him, and I always ask God for the courage and strength to get through the day." She too has her tougher days, and sometimes that tactile prayer isn't adequate. "So sometimes I lay on the bed and cry for a little bit before I go to work," she says. Whenever she falters, she hears Matt's voice. "I have to keep on going because Matt would say, 'Mom, what are you doing?'" she says with a wan smile. "I can hear him now."

Like his mother, Micah, who is now based at California's Miramar Air Station, where he repairs helicopters, sometimes wishes he could head to Iraq to look for his brother: "I'm not special operations. It's not like I could go out and find him myself, but I would if I could." Micah faced a dilemma once his brother was captured and his parents asked him to accept the Marines' offer to stay close to home. "If he wants to go to Iraq after this, that's fine," his mother says. "But I don't need two sons over there under these conditions." Says Micah: "It was not an easy call. I really feel I should be doing my part for the country by going over there," to Iraq, Afghanistan or wherever the corps needs him. "I understand the way my mom and dad feel, but I'm not really cool with it," Micah says.