Did He Go Too Far?

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Pantano is not a typical Marine. He was born in New York City and grew up in Hell's Kitchen, then a rough part of town. "You could usually see crack vials lying on the sidewalk," he recalls. High school took him to a very different part of the city. Thanks to financial aid, he attended Horace Mann School in Riverdale, N.Y., a place better known for socialites than for soldiers. Pantano signed up in advance for the Marine Corps. He wanted to make sure he was accepted for the infantry, not assigned some desk job because of his education. "My memory of Ilario is that in a sea of preppy clothing, he wore combat boots and camouflage," says classmate Josh Bernstein. "But he was so real that he got along with everybody."

On graduating, he went straight to boot camp at Parris Island, S.C. He fought in Desert Storm, made sergeant in three years, and left as a scout sniper with a bunch of medals. But in 1993 he left the Marines and returned to Manhattan. He took night classes at New York University and worked by day as an energy trader for Goldman Sachs. After earning a degree in economics, he co-founded Filter Media, a company focusing on interactive TV. He grew long hair and wore flamboyant clothes. In 1999 he met a former model who had worked with the photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. They married and had a nice apartment on 43rd Street, next door to the Rescue 1 Fire House.

Everything changed on 9/11. Pantano was on his way to a business meeting when he saw the burning towers. "It was the most horrendous thing I had ever seen," he says. "It broke my heart." Ten firemen from Rescue 1, three of them ex-Marines, died in the towers. That evening, his wife Jill says, Pantano came back home with his head shaved. "He was already in warrior mode," says his friend J.R. McKechnie. He applied to rejoin the Marines. He was 30, married, a child on the way. "It was really hard on the family," McKechnie says. "Look at Jill. She's a New Yorker, a former model. She had married a hunky media executive, and all of a sudden she ends up with a jarhead on her hands. This is not what she signed up for."

Going back to the Marines meant a 75% salary cut, but Pantano loved it. In January 2004, after a year of officer's training, he was assigned as a second lieutenant to Easy Company of the 2nd Battalion of the 2nd Regiment of Marines--2-2, for short. In mid-March they arrived in Iraq. Pantano prepared his platoon by working the men hard. His men grumbled--enlisted men call officers like Pantano "motarded"--motivated to the point of retardation. But he believed that the more they trained, the fitter they were, the more chance they had of surviving a real war. The effort paid off. In more than 40 combat operations, the platoon suffered one casualty--a shrapnel nick from incoming mortar.