Body & Mind: Last Wishes

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If faced with a prognosis like Williams', many people would succumb to depression. Others might escape by indulging in pleasure--traveling around the world or moving to a cabin in the woods. Many would simply concentrate on fighting the disease. Yet those who dedicate themselves to fulfilling a dream or final project may thrive best of all. "Often you see people outlive their prognosis when they pursue a mission," says Elise NeeDell Babcock, author of When Life Becomes Precious: The Essential Guide for Patients, Loved Ones and Friends of Those Facing Serious Illnesses. "They're focused, and they often take better care of themselves. They're determined to make a difference before they die, and they want as much time as possible to do so."

Jessica Grace Wing had always been ambitious. A graduate student in film, she had already co-founded a small New York City theater company when she learned, on the eve of her 30th birthday in July 2001, that she had terminal colon cancer. Knowing she would never complete a full-length film, Wing decided to use her remaining time and energy to compose an opera--not exactly a step down in ambition. Although her health deteriorated quickly, she never ceased working, composing on a laptop in her hospital bed. "Creating was her love," says her father Bill Wing, "and I think writing music kept her alive longer."

Unfortunately, it didn't keep Jessica alive long enough to see her opera, Lost, performed onstage. Shortly after her death in July 2003, Lost, an adaptation of the children's tale Hansel and Gretel, debuted at the New York International Fringe Festival. The sold-out audience was filled with weeping friends, colleagues and admirers. For family members, the experience was bittersweet. "She desperately wanted to see the opera performed before she died," says Jessica's mother Jennifer Schneider. "One of the most painful things to me is that she missed it by only three weeks." Schneider attended many performances and had a professional DVD made of the show. "It connects me to her every time I watch it," she says.

But it doesn't always take a work of art to provide that kind of lasting connection or legacy. Matthew Wiederkehr's final wish, after learning in December 2003 that he had fatal colorectal cancer, was to make a difference in the lives of other cancer patients. So Wiederkehr, then 33, a sales manager for Google and the father of two, asked a childhood friend, Randy Reiff, to help him start a foundation to make cancer treatment more humane. Throughout his illness, Wiederkehr repeatedly used the phrase "I promise" in conversations with his wife Jennifer Wiederkehr and Reiff. "I promise I'm going to get iPods put in these treatment rooms so patients can listen to music during chemo," he would tell them. "I promise I'm going to do something to improve hospital administration." The week before Wiederkehr died last September, he was hashing out the mission statement for his foundation. Afterward, Reiff and Jennifer settled on the obvious choice for a name: Matt's Promise.