The Bachelorette Who Set Us Free

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We can't blame books, magazines and movies for all the pressure, though. It's our fault too for buying into the women's-magazine cycle of building up our self-esteem and then exploiting our insecurities with endless tips on dieting, flirting and impressing a man in bed. (If we're so fabulous, why do we need so much fixing up?) It's an addictive game as well. When meeting up with friends, the question Are you dating anyone? comes up too soon. Even on girls' nights out, we usually talk about boys.

The insidious part is the sense of desperation. Shopping is fun, but last-minute shopping is a recipe for regret. In Be Honest--You're Not That into Him Either, which serves as a comeback to the obnoxious best seller, author Ian Kerner advises women to step off the dating StairMaster and stop hooking up with "meantimers" just so we feel as though we're in the game. Author Sasha Cagen has even coined the term quirkyalone (in her book of the same name) for a person who "prefers to be alone rather than date for the sake of being in a couple." Better to be quirkyalone than unhappy together.

With so many guys falling for Jen, I doubt she'll be single for long. And with a bit of luck, neither will I. But one thing I'm promising myself is never to follow someone else's script. This is reality, after all.