Punchlines: Apr. 4, 2005
"Gas prices are so high Robert Blake and O.J. are forced to carpool on the search for the real killers." --JAY LENO
EPA TO DROP E, P, FROM NAME Acting Administrator Stephen Johnson said, "We're not really 'environmental' anymore, and we certainly aren't 'protecting' anything." --Fake news in the ONION
"According to USA Today, Randy, Jermaine and Tito Jackson have been showing up every day at the Michael Jackson trial, but Janet Jackson hasn't. Apparently, it has something to do with Janet having a job." --CONAN O'BRIEN
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MAMADOU SY, a West African immigrant in Colorado, quoting a manager at Walmart in a complaint; 10 West African men are accusing the store of discrimination, saying it fired them to hire local workers; Walmart denies the accusation
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