Punchlines: May 23, 2005
"We've made tremendous progress in dealing with these situations. A new strategy has been implemented, and it worked to perfection today. It's called 'Run for Your Lives!'" --JON STEWART, on the reaction to a stray aircraft last week in Washington
"There hasn't been such a panicked evacuation of the White House since Hillary walked in on Bill." --DAVID LETTERMAN
"Today is National Small Business Day. It's the day we honor a lot of small businesses that used to be big businesses." --JAY LENO
"SENATORS LURED BACK TO EMERGENCY SESSION BY PROMISE OF FREE PIZZA" --Mock news headline in THE ONION
"California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's popularity has been slipping in recent months as residents slowly begin to realize they elected Arnold Schwarzenegger to be their Governor." --TINA FEY, on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
Most Popular »
- The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting
- The Fall of Greg Craig, Obama's Top Lawyer
- Prehistoric Super-Crocodiles May Have Dined on Dinosaurs
- Toilets
- Can the A380 Bring the Party Back to the Skies?
- Woman Loses Benefits over Facebook Photo
- How One Army Town Copes With Post- Traumatic Stress
- Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin
- Troubling Rise of Facebook's Top Game Company
- The Story of Barack Obama's Mother
- The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting
- Toilets
- Prehistoric Super-Crocodiles May Have Dined on Dinosaurs
- Troubling Rise of Facebook's Top Game Company
- Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin
- How One Army Town Copes With Post- Traumatic Stress
- The Fall of Greg Craig, Obama's Top Lawyer
- Can the A380 Bring the Party Back to the Skies?
- Woman Loses Benefits over Facebook Photo
- Junior Eurovision: Schoolyard Crushes with Glitter
Quotes of the Day »
Quotes of the Day »
RSS