Letters: Jun. 6, 2005

A Female Turning Point

Our cover story on the way women baby boomers are facing the turning point of middle age prompted readers to share their tales of transformation, self-discovery and starting over. Some women argued against waiting until 50 to break loose from life's confines. And some men felt just plain left out

Your article on the midlife transformation of women was wonderful [May 16]. Female baby boomers are pioneers in innovatively facing a new stage of life. Just as teenagers break away from childhood to begin preparing for adulthood, women (and men) in midlife must depart from traditional adulthood and grow in a different dimension. Like teenagers, we have the opportunity to dream: to imagine different scenarios for the future, to go to school, live in a new city, take a trip. But we need to close the gender gap. No longer separated by unique family roles, women and men have a common agenda: to find new purpose and cement relationships, to kick up and have fun.

ABIGAIL TRAFFORD - Washington

For many years, the idea of a man having a midlife crisis provoked laughter. How many cartoons and jokes are there about middle-aged men buying motorcycles and contemplating the meaning of life? It turns out that women think they too need a good midlife crisis, only now it isn't the subject of jokes. It is "a major turning point in their lives." Men in a midlife crisis are usually pictured as balding and paunchy. In contrast, the women you featured are all attractive and in shape. They seem empowered by their crises. The disparity of all that is enough to make me question my male existence. Perhaps I'll buy a boat and go looking for the real me. It seems to be the thing to do.

DAVID WHITE - Wauwatosa, Wis.

Having obtained a master's degree as a nurse practitioner with a specialty in women's health at 51, I am starting my own health-care practice at 57. You're right to applaud women who embrace midlife. For those of us over 50, things just keep getting better. It is a true time of empowerment for us.

AUDREY C. VAN VOORHIS - Port Orchard, Wash.

Your story was overblown. We all go through soul searching, men and teenagers included. Women should remember that everyone has the choice of being content or miserable. If they choose to be happy, they won't make poor choices that cause a crisis. Women are capable of being decision makers, and we can determine how to improve our life choices.

CORNELIA A. HOLT - Fort Myers, Fla.

The onset of middle age does not have to be a crisis; it can be an opportunity. Women of the baby-boom generation should remember the adage, "One person can make a difference." My awakening came weeks after 9/11 when I examined my purpose in life. Today I am a consultant for children with learning disabilities. Every woman should believe that she can make a difference by herself.

KATHLEEN McCLASKEY - Amherst, N.H.

Given the advances in reproductive technology, I was surprised that your story didn't mention having a baby as some women's response to middle age. I'm 49, and my husband and I have a 4-year-old son who fills every day of our "middle age" with joy. Midlife and motherhood are a great combination!

KIM DAHL - Provo, Utah