Religion: An Antique Version of Myself

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The particulars of strict Orthodox observance fill the Lubavitchers' lives. At the mikvah (ritual bath), in which a woman immerses herself after her menstrual period, dental floss and cotton swabs are provided for removal of the tiniest particles so purifying water will wash the entire body. One evening, Harris undergoes the first ritual bath of her life, an experience that produces a momentary touch of Hasidic ecstasy as memories well up of her grandmother and the two sons Harris has borne.

Though the Lubavitchers are oblivious to feminist concerns, Harris sees humaneness in their way of life and says women create an almost "Amazonian" sisterhood among themselves. Men honor their wives, and there is no observable infidelity.

Why devote years of effort to the Hasidim? Harris contends that they once constituted three-fourths of East European Jews and consequently a majority of U.S. Jews probably have Hasidic forebears. "I felt like putting them back in the world in some manner," says Harris, adding that they "represent some antique version of myself."

The author ends her project with mixed feelings about the Hasidim. "I'm more attracted to Judaism because of them," she says, but she sees little appeal in their way of life. As someone who believes in God but is also assimilated, remarks Harris, "I did not like the Lubavitchers' rigidity, the absoluteness of right and wrong that they perceived. I consider unsureness to be the proper condition of life." --By Richard N. Ostling. Reported by Michael P. Harris/New York