Punchlines: Jul. 4, 2005
"President Bush welcomed Vietnam's Prime Minister to the White House today. He promised he would travel to Vietnam next year--that is unless his dad can get him out of it." --JAY LENO
"They had a thing downtown yesterday--some idiots were putting up a 17-ton Popsicle--so for one day only, the coldest thing in New York was not Hillary Clinton." --DAVID LETTERMAN
"A court in Germany has ruled that soldiers in the German army should be allowed to keep their mullets and ponytails. In a related story, the German army is now doing most of its recruiting in New Jersey." --CONAN O'BRIEN
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MUKHTAR ABU AL-ZUBAIR, leader of the Somali al-Shabab rebel movement, pledging allegiance to al-Qaeda in an audio message posted on the al-Shabab website
