Punchlines: Jul. 11, 2005
"Bush is doing anything he can now to boost his popularity. In fact, tomorrow he will be jumping up and down on Oprah's couch." Â --DAVID LETTERMAN
"Jimmy Buffett, Jay-Z and Avril Lavigne signed a brief supporting the record companies, while Heart, Brian Eno and Terence Trent D'Arby joined forces to support Grokster. It was a lineup that ensured no matter how the court ruled, the music at the victory party would suck." Â --JON STEWART
"VATICAN TIGHTENS NOCTURNAL EMISSIONS STANDARDS." Â --Fake news headline from THE ONION
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GEORGE LITTLE, Pentagon press secretary, on the decision to ease the restrictions on women in combat roles; women currently make up nearly 14% of the U.S. armed forces
