Punchlines: Jul. 18, 2005
"Katie Holmes says that despite her engagement to Tom Cruise, she's not ready to get married right now. When asked why, Holmes said, 'I just want to wait until Tom's check clears.'" --CONAN O'BRIEN
"As you know, Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor is stepping down. She didn't want to resign--she just wants to make sure she's home so nobody can seize her house." --JAY LENO
"President Bush ran over a Scottish constable on his bicycle ride in Scotland. There was no need for an apology. We are fighting the Scottish constables over there so we don't have to fight them here." --ARGUS HAMILTON, comedian and columnist
Most Popular »
- Five Things the U.S. Can Learn from China
- World Leaders Put Off a Climate Change Treaty
- The Prisoner Review: A Pretentious Reimagining
- Good and Bad News for Boxing: Only One Pacquiao
- China Investigates Deaths After Swine Flu Shot
- Box Office Weekend: 2012 Masters Disaster
- Does Mexico City Need a Red-Light District?
- The Meaning and Mythos of Manny Pacquiao
- YouTube Effect: Making Money From Viral Videos
- Happiness Paradox: Why Are Americans So Cheery?
- Five Things the U.S. Can Learn from China
- Good and Bad News for Boxing: Only One Pacquiao
- Beijing: 10 Things to Do in 24 Hours
- Happiness Paradox: Why Are Americans So Cheery?
- Armed Forces: The Men in the Green Berets
- In a Malaria Hot Spot, Resistance to a Key Drug
- Why Legalizing Marijuana Makes Sense
- How to Crack Japan: The Big Bang Theory
- Hip Berlin: Europe's Capital of Cool
- Mother Teresa's Crisis of Faith
Quotes of the Day »
HUGO CHAVEZ president of Venezuela, on his plan to join a team of scientists on a cloud-seeding flight mission amid a severe drought
Quotes of the Day »
HUGO CHAVEZ president of Venezuela, on his plan to join a team of scientists on a cloud-seeding flight mission amid a severe drought
RSS