Punchlines

"We begin tonight overseas, where the British are engaged in their own war on terror--or, as they call it over there, 'a global row against roustabouts.'"

--JON STEWART

"In a new interview, Lindsay Lohan admits she's tried marijuana, but she didn't enjoy it. In a related story, Snoop Dogg says he's tried not doing marijuana--and it was the scariest five minutes of his life."

--CONAN O'BRIEN

"Two jurors in the Michael Jackson case now say they've changed their minds. They now say Michael is guilty. I believe the legal term for this is book deal."

--JAY LENO

1. Why McCain Picked Palin
2. McCain's Prickly TIME Interview
3. The Palin Pick: Bold or Disastrous?
4. McCain's Surprise Pick: Sarah Palin
5. Klein: Obama's Speech 'Very Tough'
6. Obama's Risky Stadium Gig
7. Exclusive Poll: Obama's Swing Leads
8. Is McCain Overplaying the POW Card?
9. What Bush Taught McCain
10. Clinton Builds a Bridge to Obama