Punchlines: Sep. 19, 2005
"Celine Dion criticized President Bush for his slow response to Hurricane Katrina. Celine said, 'I could have driven everyone out of the city in two songs.'"
--CONAN O'BRIEN
"That's what they do now--whenever there's trouble, they send former Presidents Clinton and Bush. Earlier today they arrived on the set of Joey."
--DAVID LETTERMAN
"At the Vice President's press conference, a heckler kept yelling obscenities at him and had to be taken away. Let me tell you something--this time Hillary has gone too far."
--JAY LENO
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RAY KELLY, New York City Police Commissioner, on the arrest of a New Jersey man in one of the nation's most baffling missing-children cases, the disappearance more than three decades ago of 6-year-old Etan Patz.
