Punchlines: Oct. 24, 2005
"President Bush is taking more liberal positions. For example, global warming. He used to be against it. Now it's the Republican plan for heating homes this winter."
--JAY LENO
"According to the latest poll, only 2% of African Americans think President Bush is doing a good job. The percentage would have been higher, but Condoleezza Rice has a small family."
--CONAN O'BRIEN
"It was raining so hard down in Washington, D.C., [last week] that Tom DeLay didn't have to launder his money."
--DAVID LETTERMAN
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RICHARD ROBERTS, at the memorial service of his father, TV evangelist Oral Roberts
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