Punchlines: Oct. 24, 2005
"President Bush is taking more liberal positions. For example, global warming. He used to be against it. Now it's the Republican plan for heating homes this winter."
--JAY LENO
"According to the latest poll, only 2% of African Americans think President Bush is doing a good job. The percentage would have been higher, but Condoleezza Rice has a small family."
--CONAN O'BRIEN
"It was raining so hard down in Washington, D.C., [last week] that Tom DeLay didn't have to launder his money."
--DAVID LETTERMAN
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RAY KELLY, New York City Police Commissioner, on the arrest of a New Jersey man in one of the nation's most baffling missing-children cases, the disappearance more than three decades ago of 6-year-old Etan Patz.
