Punchlines: Oct. 31, 2005

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"In her new movie documentary, Madonna renounces the material world, saying we are enslaved by it and it will ultimately be our undoing. Madonna made this statement from her mansion in England." --JAY LENO

"The U.S. government announced it would not accept more than 300,000 meals donated to Hurricane Katrina victims by the British. A U.S. government spokesperson explained that the Katrina victims have suffered enough." --CONAN O'BRIEN

"Supreme Court nominee Harriet Miers steadfastly refuses to talk about herself, will not talk about herself, and I'm thinking to myself, Hell, where do you find a woman like that?" --DAVID LETTERMAN

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EXCERPT FROM DOCUMENTS given by the CIA to British intelligence officials about Ethiopian-born British resident Binyam Mohamed, who alleges he was tortured at the behest of U.S. authorities after his 2002 arrest in Pakistan.
For use in rail of Articles page or Section Fronts pages. Duplicate and change name as necesssary to distinguish.