Punchlines: Nov. 7, 2005
"[Game 3 of the World Series] lasted 5 hours and 41 minutes. As it dragged on and on, I started to think it was something George Bush got us into." --DAVID LETTERMAN
"Tonight, [President] Bush appoints a new Federal Reserve chairman. If you don't care, you're probably poor." --STEPHEN COLBERT
"Rumor around Hollywood is that Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant again. No word from Gwyneth and her husband Chris Martin, but word from the inside is that they've been spending hours watching the Food Network to decide what to name the baby." --JIMMY KIMMEL
For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons
Most Popular »
- How Cash Keeps Poor People Poor
- E.T. Turns 30: 10 Things You Didn't Know About Our Favorite Extraterrestrial
- 15-Year-Old Creates Test for Pancreatic Cancer
- Nevada Ghosts: Rare Photos From an A-Bomb Test
- Euro Crisis: Why A Greek Exit Could Be Much Worse Than Expected
- Could a Fertility Gene Discovery Lead to New Male Contraception?
- 10 Dangerous Products You Might Have in Your Home
- Obama Stumbles? Why the President's Right to Talk About Bain
- Star Wars Turns 35: How TIME Covered the Film Phenomenon
- Meet Dylan Bundy: The Minor Leaguer Baseball Is Buzzing About
- Researchers Probe the Potential Health Benefits of Palm Oil
- A Visit with Turkey's Controversial Religious Movement
- Feeding the Planet Without Destroying It
- Bubble on the Potomac
- Falcon's Liftoff: How a Private Firm Could Change Space Exploration
- The Fatal Flight of the Superjet 100: Why Did It Slam Into a Mountain?
- Learning That Works
- The Man Who Remade Motherhood
- Bibi's Choice
- Seoul: 10 Things to Do
More News from Our Partners
Top Stories on TIME.com
Quotes of the Day »
RAY KELLY, New York City Police Commissioner, on the arrest of a New Jersey man in one of the nation's most baffling missing-children cases, the disappearance more than three decades ago of 6-year-old Etan Patz.
