Take Them Flying

Like many folks with grandkids at a distance, Michael Harbater, 55, had a hunger to know those little people better--and to have them know him. But for the retailer from New York City, it was hard. Eleven of his 16 grandchildren lived in Israel, and when he did see them, he laments, "they didn't exactly jump into my lap."

But Harbater had one great tool for bridging that divide: his airplane. Although he could not fly his six-seat Centurian across the Atlantic, he was able to fly his visiting 21/2-year-old granddaughter from Farmingdale, N.Y., to Toronto. Squirming on her mom's lap, Liba stretched out her arms toward him, plaintively wailing "Gampa!" Harbater took her onto his lap, cradling her with one hand while piloting the plane. She snuggled against him, fascinated by the colored lights blinking on the instrument panel and the rain streaking back on the windshield. "It was like a dream come true," he says. And perhaps most satisfying, a year later Liba still talks about "Gampa's airpane."

With today's families scattered so widely, a growing number of grandparents have learned to close two gaps--geographic and emotional--with one airplane, either by flying the miles that separate them from their grandkids or by bonding with the young ones through a passion for flying. Often the grandparents do both. The average age of civilian pilots has risen to 55, up from about 48 a decade ago, as more grandparents have taken to the pilot's seat, according to Drew Steketee, CEO of Be a Pilot, a nonprofit that promotes aviation. Around 10% of the would-be flyers who signed up in 2003 and '04 for Be a Pilot's promotional first lesson ($49) were over 50. Considering that many pilots over 80 are still active, boomers who start now could be flying for decades.

In the past, says Karen Fingerman, a Purdue University psychologist, grandparents' typical roles were as family historians and keepers of rituals. "Today," she says, "grandparents tend to be healthier, society is less formal, and the passions transmitted can include modern, hip pastimes like biking, running and even flying planes."

Whichever comes first--the grandkids or the license--many grandparents view flying as a godsend for bonding with their children's children. "Flying is my special thing that I can pass on to them," says retired nurse Betty Vinson, 64, of Prince George, Va., who took up flying at 50. Vinson takes her three grandkids, ages 4 to 13, aloft regularly. From toddlerhood, they have loved it. "Years later," Vinson says, "my granddaughter would talk about flying right through clouds and how they were not solid but soft like smoke." The first time Gary Spoor, 48, took up Garrett, 4, the boy was transfixed. "Look, Grandpa," he called, "there's a train! Look--cows!" "It makes me feel 10 feet tall to bring that kind of joy to him," says the power-line superintendent from Kansas City, Mo.