Punchlines: Nov. 14, 2005
"If Alito is confirmed, there will be two Supreme Court Justices from New Jersey. Experts say this could cause a reversal in the famous case Mullet v. Back Hair." --CONAN O'BRIEN
"Now the Democrats feel they're only three or four more empty gestures away from a complete moral victory." --ED HELMS, Daily Show correspondent, on Democrats forcing the Senate into closed session to discuss Iraqi prewar intelligence
"A new poll shows 66% of Americans think President Bush is doing a poor job handling the war in Iraq. The remaining 34% think Adam and Eve rode dinosaurs to church." --TINA FEY, co-anchor on Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
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RAY KELLY, New York City Police Commissioner, on the arrest of a New Jersey man in one of the nation's most baffling missing-children cases, the disappearance more than three decades ago of 6-year-old Etan Patz.
