Punchlines: Jan. 23, 2006
"Have you noticed that Dick Cheney has been walking around with a cane lately? He said that he really didn't need the cane. He just liked the idea that a tree had to be cut down to make it." --JAY LENO
"The Alito hearings are so dull that that woman in Cincinnati who was dead in front of her TV for two years--she got up and turned them off." --DAVID LETTERMAN
"The guy who invented LSD celebrates his 100th birthday tomorrow. Yeah, he plans to spend the day surrounded by friends, family and a 9-ft.-tall unicorn." --CONAN O'BRIEN
"ESPN COURTS FEMALE VIEWERS WITH WORLD'S EMOTIONALLY STRONGEST MAN COMPETITION" --Fake news headline from THE ONION
For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons
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MICHAEL SINNOTT, a Roman Catholic priest who was abducted by Islamic separatists in the Philippines a month ago and released today, on the conditions he had to endure
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