The Secret of Barbie's Rivals

So, having caved on Barbie for my firstborn, I banned the Bratz for my second, determined to draw a line somewhere, only to watch her fascination grow every time we passed the toy aisle at Target. Meanwhile, the competitive threat to Barbie did not go unnoticed by the makeover masters at Mattel. In the face of years of criticism, Nurse Barbie had turned into Doctor Barbie, Stewardess Barbie into Astronaut Barbie, with a host of multicultural friends. There was even Barbie for President 2004 in a trim red pantsuit with a Stars-and-Stripes scarf.

But somehow Barbie remains incurably pink and retro, because she is an icon, a Warhol painting, a Smithsonian exhibit. The latest attempt to make Barbie modern is a little painful to watch. Bling Bling Barbie looks like a Bratz clone. At the Toy Fair this week in New York City, Mattel is unveiling the new Ken, who has "hottie hair" and cooler clothes. Turns out Ken is a metrosexual now. Mattel talks about the "Barbie turnaround" it is planning, which just makes me worried about the prospect of Rhinoplasty Barbie (you can remake her face!) or Tattoo Barbie.

Suddenly Malibu Barbie is looking better to me. Once seen as insidious, she now looks innocent compared with her successors. As it happened, Santa overruled me and brought Daughter No. 2 a Bratz doll (though she came dressed in a karate outfit, which is practically a burqa by Bratz standards). Maybe in the best of all worlds, two sisters with two generations of dolls will play together. Barbie might loosen up a little and learn some new moves, while Roxxi might get some help in AP calculus. A mom can dream.