People: Mar. 13, 2006

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GEORGE CLOONEY, WATCH YOUR BACK It's not what he's famous for, but M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN has been in every movie he has directed. The roles have not exactly been seminal; he played a doctor in The Sixth Sense and a guard in The Village. Now, finally, he has given himself the lead--in a commercial. Shyamalan took it quite seriously. "I really did approach this commercial as a two-minute movie," he says. "We filmed it in the movie way, over two days, 12 shots a day, with movie people and movie actors." The commercial, for American Express, shows all sorts of spooky things--a woman catching a fly with her tongue, diners disappearing like shattered glasses--that happen at a restaurant while Shyamalan watches. Fans will need to pay for his next effort: Lady in the Water, starring Paul Giamatti, which comes out in July.

OLD FRIENDS Lisa Kudrow's The Comeback is done, but these Friends are there for you.

MATTHEW PERRY Chandler's gig: Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip The buzz: NBC's fall comedy show about a comedy show is seriously smart for the funny Friend

DAVID SCHWIMMER ROSS'S GIG: Broadway revival of 1954's Caine Mutiny Court-Martial The buzz: Well, at least he's not reviving 1996's The Pallbearer

MATT LEBLANC JOEY'S GIG: NBC's Joey returns this week. The buzz: Television's most hyped spin-off has spun out. It's time for Joey to turn in his SAG card

COURTENEY COX ARQUETTE MONICA'S GIG: A tabloid editor on F/X series Dirt The buzz: Look out, US and In Touch--Cox is most appealing as a meanie

JENNIFER ANISTON RACHEL'S GIGS: Spring movies The Break-Up and Friends with Money The buzz: Not nearly so compelling as her own relationship dramas

CBS GETS STERN WITH HOWARD

Just in case HOWARD STERN was running out of villains to decry on the air, his old boss, CBS CEO LES MOONVES, has stepped in to help. CBS Radio filed a fraud and breach-of- contract lawsuit seeking more than $200 million from the radio host, his agent and his new employer, Sirius Satellite Radio. The suit says Stern spent his last 14 months at CBS talking up Sirius and hiding a deal to earn stock for boosting his new company's subscriber numbers. Stern calls the suit a "personal vendetta." On the upside, it will give him months of material for his show. And these days, he can curse.