Punchlines: Mar. 27, 2006

"This new series called Big Love is about a guy with three wives in Utah. You know what the penalty is for having three wives? Three mothers-in-law." --JAY LENO

"Last night Ozzy Osbourne was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. During his speech, Ozzy choked up and said, 'This is a night I will remember for the rest of the night.'" --CONAN O'BRIEN

"The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers defended the quality of the materials being used to rebuild the levees around New Orleans and said they would be ready for the next hurricane season--as long as there are no hurricanes." --AMY POEHLER

For more political humor, visit time.com/cartoons

Quotes of the Day »

Get & Share
HANS MONDROW, East Germany's last communist prime minister, on the East German soldiers who ignored orders to shoot to kill those crossing into West Germany and made the decision to open the border on Nov. 9, 1989
For use in rail of Articles page or Section Fronts pages. Duplicate and change name as necesssary to distinguish.

Time.com on Digg

POWERED BY digg

Quotes of the Day »

Get & Share
HANS MONDROW, East Germany's last communist prime minister, on the East German soldiers who ignored orders to shoot to kill those crossing into West Germany and made the decision to open the border on Nov. 9, 1989

Stay Connected with TIME.com