Is Spanking O.K.?

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But some African Americans are disturbed by the culture of discipline. "I started analyzing whether by spanking, I want my children to fear or respect me," says Anderson. "My parents taught respect by fear. And there's a historical aspect to this--slaves were taught via physical reprimand and that was passed down." Complicating the matter are studies that show that what some still call a good whuppin' may not be so psychologically harmful in black families. But critics reply that saying it's O.K. for black children but not white kids to be spanked reinforces societal racism.

The clearest indication that there's no simple answer to the spanking dilemma, though, is that some professionals who work with parents to prevent child abuse and teach appropriate discipline methods also acknowledge spanking their kids--albeit sparingly. Right or wrong, for most parents, spanking remains a private matter.

Says Cheri Weeks, a child psychologist and a mother of three in Los Angeles: "I know that my parents have always been supportive, and these were the same people who spanked me when I was growing up. My parents' motto and my motto is that I need to discipline my children so that the world doesn't have to."