Punchlines: Jun. 19, 2006

By DEPARTMENT Sunday, Jun. 11, 2006

"A person was caught trying to jump over the White House fence after throwing a package over it. Turns out it was just Hillary Clinton with carpet samples."JAY LENO

"This past weekend, Al Gore's movie An Inconvenient Truth earned more per screen than any film in the country. I daresay Gore's movie is the highest grossing PowerPoint presentation in history." STEPHEN COLBERT

"Big vote in the Senate: they voted down the gay-marriage ban. It was a very close vote: 48 voted 'Yea,' 49 voted 'Nay,' and three voted 'Fabulous.'" DAVID LETTERMAN

"Britney Spears recently hired a male nanny. When asked why, she said, 'I want to show my son that a man can hold a job.'" CONAN O'BRIEN

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SERGEANT JIM HOLCOMB, a Los Angeles Airport Police Officer, commenting on the former boxer Mike Tyson's arrest after an alleged assault with a celebrity photographer at Los Angeles International Airport
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Quotes of the Day »

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"There's a lot of different versions to the story."
SERGEANT JIM HOLCOMB, a Los Angeles Airport Police Officer, commenting on the former boxer Mike Tyson's arrest after an alleged assault with a celebrity photographer at Los Angeles International Airport
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